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Competency

How Will You Benefit From Earning a Certification in Agile Coaching?

Do you want certification in Agile coaching?

Let’s start with the first part of the question raised above. How will you benefit from earning a certificate in agile coaching – or any agile certification for that matter?

There are several clear and immediate benefits that go along with earning certification in agile, as agile certification has become a popular choice for professionals looking to enhance their skills and build stronger, more efficient teams.

Woman receiving a certification in agile coaching

A short history of Agile methodology

Agile methodology, in its simplest terms, is an approach to project management that values adaptability, collaboration, and customer satisfaction. Born from the need to find a more flexible and efficient way of creating software, agile was introduced in 2001 through the Agile Manifesto, a set of guiding principles written by seventeen software developers.

They sought a way to make software development teams overcome the rigidity and unpredictability associated with traditional project management, often known as the Waterfall method. Agile methodology provides a solution by using project management experience breaking projects into manageable ‘sprints’, allowing for constant feedback, adjustments, and rapid response to changes. This results in a more productive, dynamic, and collaborative work environment that promotes efficiency and high-quality outcomes.

What does agility look like in the workplace?

Agility in the workplace is embodied by a dynamic and adaptive way of managing tasks and projects. This is typically led by roles like the professional scrum master or the agile project manager, who facilitate the agile transformation within their teams.

As agile scrum masters, they guide agile project teams through the adoption and practice of an agile approach, leveraging their advanced Agile experience. Employee engagement is notably high in agile environments, as the approach fosters a working experience that values collaboration, innovation, and the collective progress of the team.

Managing tasks is fluid and flexible, allowing teams to quickly adapt, pivot and complete tasks effectively. Preparation is continuous and iterative, qualifying the team for the next sprint even as the current one progresses.

Agility in the workplace is a manifestation of an environment that’s flexible, adaptable, and focused on constant progress, all critical elements of the Agile experience.

agile coaching in the workplace

The basic understanding of Agile and its methodologies

Agility in leadership often begins with a basic understanding of Agile methodologies, but mastering it typically involves going beyond the basics, with many leaders pursuing certification. Successfully completing Agile leadership certification provides them with the knowledge and skills to guide their teams effectively within an Agile framework.

Agile leadership is not only for project managers!

Agile leadership is essential not only for project managers, team leaders and teams but also extends to all managers and senior management. Embracing agility at all levels of leadership ensures a cohesive and agile team, nimble approach, and agile approaches to management that align with the core principles of Agile methodology.

What is agility in leadership?

Agility in leadership refers to a style of leadership where facilitation and collaboration are at the forefront. Agile leaders, often holding roles such as scrum master or agile project manager, embrace the principles of the Agile philosophy in their leadership approach.

They are prepared to pivot quickly, adapting to changing circumstances for the beneficial outcome of their teams and projects.

an agile leader leading her team in the workplace.

Are Scrum Masters Agile coaches?

While Scrum Masters and Agile Coaches both operate within the realm of agile, they are not the same. A Scrum Master primarily serves a single team, ensuring that the team follows the principles and practices of Scrum, one of many frameworks. Their role involves removing obstacles that hinder the agile team’s progress, facilitating communication, and promoting a conducive environment for efficient work.

On the other hand, an Agile Coach often works at a higher level, engaging with multiple teams and sometimes even with the entire organization. They help in the broader Agile transformation process, providing guidance, training, and support to people at different levels, including senior leadership. The Agile Coach role goes beyond the scope of Scrum to encompass a wider array of Agile methodologies.

In essence, while all Scrum Masters work within an Agile context, their role is more specialized and team-focused, and they are not necessarily equipped to handle the broader organizational responsibilities of an Agile Coach.

Investing your time and resources in Agile certification

Here are 5 reasons for investing time, effort, and resources in agile projects and other more agile practices and certifications too.

  1. Enhanced Understanding of Agile Principles

    First and foremost, an Agile certification equips you with a deep understanding of Agile principles and methodologies. This knowledge is not just theoretical – it’s also practical, giving you the skills to apply these principles in real-world scenarios. You’ll understand how to effectively manage workflow, enhance productivity, and respond to changes in a project quickly and efficiently. This immediate comprehension of Agile concepts can set you apart in your current role, opening the door for further professional growth.

  2. Recognition and Credibility

    Acquiring an Agile certification gives you instant credibility. This is a globally recognized qualification, signaling to colleagues and employers that you are committed to your professional development and have a solid grasp of Agile practices. It can position you as an expert in your field, even if you’re relatively new to Agile. The recognition that comes with a certificate can instantly elevate your status within your professional network.

  3. Competitive Advantage

    In an increasingly competitive job market, having an Agile certification can give you an edge. It serves as a testament to your skills, commitment, and understanding of Agile principles, making you an attractive candidate for employers seeking to implement or enhance Agile methodology in their organizations.

    It’s a clear differentiator that can make you stand out from the crowd when it comes to job applications or promotions.

  4. Improved Communication and Leadership Skills

    Agile coaching certification in particular not only focuses on Agile methodologies but also includes training in communication and leadership. As an Agile coach, you’ll need to effectively facilitate communication among team members, resolve conflicts, and inspire others to work towards a common goal. These skills are universally valuable, and being certified can help to highlight these strengths in your professional role.

  5. Networking Opportunities

    Finally, earning your certification connects you with a community of Agile professionals. This global network can provide support, share insights, and even present job opportunities. You’ll find yourself immediately immersed in a group of like-minded individuals, allowing you to share experiences, ask questions, and learn from others who are also utilizing Agile methods.

Agile coaching; a path to proficiency in leadership

Agile leaders, current project managers, senior management, and those in leadership positions, must understand how gaining certification plays a critical role in an individual’s career path, acting as a stepping stone toward proficiency and expertise in agile transformation.

a team being virtually coached using agile nethodology

What are the benefits of agile certifications?

A well-developed certification program offers comprehensive training on the implementation of various Agile frameworks, fostering mastery of skills necessary for overseeing, guiding, and directing an Agile transformation successfully.

The best Agile certifications not only develop your implementation capabilities but also widen your leadership range, enabling you to handle diverse teams and projects with efficiency.

Acquiring an Agile certification enhances your proficiency in the Agile domain, aids in developing your expertise in scaled Agile concepts, agile framework,, and career opportunities, and elevates your career path to new heights of mastery.

Are Agile certifications worth it?

Agile Certifications are indeed worth considering if you aspire to take your professional skills to the next level. The training courses involved in these certifications impart a wide range of new skills that contribute to your mastery of Agile methodologies.

By working towards and achieving these certifications, individuals gain the confidence deep knowledge needed to apply Agile principles and practices effectively in various work environments.

Certifications validate your knowledge and qualifications, providing tangible proof of your understanding and capabilities in Agile frameworks.

Agile certifications build your skill set

Whether you’re an emerging leader looking to get a foothold in your industry or an established manager wishing to expand your responsibilities, Agile Certifications can equip you with the tools and techniques you need to lead with efficiency and adaptability.

Leadership capabilities are another major gain. These certifications are designed to cultivate essential leadership traits such as strategic thinking, team collaboration, and effective communication.

They mold you into a new kind of leader, one who can navigate change, inspire innovation, and drive productivity in an Agile environment.

As you grow your skillset through these training course certifications, you contribute to your ongoing professional development. Learning doesn’t stop at the end of the first training course or certification course – implementing the newly acquired skills and knowledge into your everyday work provides an avenue for continuous learning and improvement.

We believe Agile certifications are a valuable investment for those who wish to become proficient in Agile methodologies, advance their careers, and effectively take on greater responsibilities in the ever-evolving world of work.

one on one agile coaching session via Zoom

What is the most popular Agile certification?

Scrum is the most popular certified agile project management name and framework according to the Scrum Alliance. Sixty-one percent (62%) of respondents in 75 countries reported using it. This is most likely why Scrum certification is one of the most widely used and used certified agile project certifications.

Other popular Agile certifications

In addition to Scrum Master certifications, there are several other popular certifications that professionals can consider to enhance their skills and expertise in Agile methodology:

  1. Certified Agile Leadership (CAL): This certification, offered by Scrum Alliance, focuses on developing leadership skills within the Agile context. It prepares leaders to facilitate the Agile transformation in their organizations and cultivate an Agile mindset among their teams.
  2. SAFe® Agilist (SA): The Scaled Agile Framework (SAFe) is a popular choice for large organizations working with multiple teams. SAFe Agilist certification provides an understanding of how to apply Agile, Lean, and Product Development Flow principles at the enterprise level.
  3. Professional Agile Leadership (PAL I): Offered by Scrum.org, this certification is designed for managers and leaders who want to extend their professional agility, promoting improved response to change and better stakeholder satisfaction.
  4. ICAgile Certified Professional (ICP): This is a foundational course for professionals beginning their journey into Agile. It covers Agile history, mindset, and methodologies, providing a solid start for further Agile studies.
  5. Project Management Institute – Agile Certified Practitioner (PMI-ACP): This certification by PMI is globally recognized and demonstrates a practitioner’s ability to understand and apply Agile principles and practices.

Each of these certifications offers unique benefits and focus areas, making them suitable for different career paths within the Agile field. It’s advisable for professionals to carefully evaluate the requirements, curriculum, and potential benefits of each certification to determine the most suitable one for their individual career objectives.

What certifications and workshops does TeamCatapult offer?

Whether you are just starting out in your career, or are a master at your craft we have just the right resources to help you along the way to help you become the leader you were meant to be all along!

We offer three distinct journeys.

How do you currently self-identify?

  1. Facilitator/Scrum master
  2. Agile Coach
  3. Leader/Executive

Agile certification for those in an upcoming leadership role

Path 1 – Lead Collaboration & Change in Agile Teams

International Consortium in Agile (ICAgile) certifications:

  • Agile Team Facilitation Workshop
  • Agile Coaching
  • Coaching Agility From Within Cohort

Path 2 – Specialized Skill Development

  • Virtual Facilitation Masterclass
  • Facilitating Engaging Retrospectives Workshop

Path 3 – Lead Through Conflict and Change

International Coaching Federation (ICF) certification:

  • Making Behavioral Change Happen Workshop

In partnership with Dialogix:

  • Changing Behavior in High Stakes Workshop

Certification in Agile coaching

Coaching is a powerful form of leadership — and a cornerstone competency when you’re ready to be leading teams to harness the full potential of an agile mindset.

TeamCatapultt offers Agile Coaching Certification through ICAgile certified professional certification exam.

Our Agile Coaching workshop enables you to build the expertise and consciousness required to inspire and bolster your teams and groups. Revolutionize your leadership with impactful coaching by earning a certificate in agile coaching!

A proud agile coach in front of her team!

How Agile coaches like you grow after certification!

After achieving your certificate in agile coaching, you embark on a journey of continued growth and development. Leveraging your newly acquired knowledge and skills, you drive the agile transformation within your organization, facilitating the efficient operation of Agile project teams.

As your working experience in Agile environments expands, you continually improve your expertise, qualifying you to handle more advanced and complex Agile projects.

The certification acts as a springboard, preparing you to master more challenging roles and responsibilities. You continue to practice the Agile philosophy, adapting it in different contexts and honing your skills in managing tasks and projects.

Employee engagement becomes your primary focus as you work on enhancing the collaborative nature of your teams.

Your growth after certification is a journey of ongoing learning, refining your mastery over the Agile approach, and staying adaptable in the face of change.

An invite to learn more about the ‘Coaching Agility From Within‘ Cohort

If you are an agile coach ready to learn more, implement more, and grow in your leadership and facilitation skills, you need to check out our cohort.

Our cohort is designed for agile coaches like you who are ready for that next step; mastery in agile coaching. They are ready to grow. They are ready to put in the work, and they are ready to lead! Are you? Join us!

What Does the Path to Gain Mastery in Agile Coaching Really Look Like?

In a recent live panel event, we lifted the veil of what it takes to gain mastery in agile coaching.

We invited leaders and agile coaches just like you to join us for a one-hour live discussion with agile coaches, TeamCatapult faculty, and a representative from ICAgile.

The event was well attended. While we are not publically sharing the recording of the panel discussion, there were many great insights shared and stories told.

Live panel discussion with TeamCatapult about gaining mastery in agile coaching

Here is a short recap.

The Path to Mastery: What it Takes to Grow As An Agile Coach

In the live panel discussion, “The Path to Mastery: What it Takes to Grow as an Agile Coach,” hosted by TeamCatapult with moderators Marsah Acker and Antoinette Coetzee, panelists Marcel, Jennifer, Israel, and Shannon shared valuable insights into their experiences with the cohort and how it shaped their careers as Agile coaches.

How to Gain Mastery in Agile Coaching

The discussion began with Marsha providing background on TeamCatapult’s journey to bridge the gap between learning coaching skills and applying them effectively. The panelists represented different cohorts and locations, each bringing unique perspectives to the conversation.

When asked about the challenges of coaching Agile teams, participants in the chat mentioned issues like

  • resistance to change
  • lack of leadership support
  • difficulties in understanding the role of a team coach

Israel emphasized the importance of helping teams understand the benefits of having a coach, while Marcel highlighted the need to build trust with teams and overcome initial resistance to change.

The panel discussion shed light on the transformative power of being part of a cohort.

Here are each of their stories.

The path to gain mastery in agile coaching

Growth As An Agile Coach Through Mindset Shift

For Marcel Höppner, the cohort provided a transformative journey in developing a coaching stance. By receiving direct feedback and guidance, he experienced a mindset shift, realizing that his ego was sometimes hindering his ability to be an effective leader. This newfound awareness changed his view on leadership, making him more focused on helping others achieve success rather than just managing people.

Growth As An Agile Coach Through Deepening Coaching Skills

Jennifer Steelman, an experienced Scrum Master, found the cohort to be an excellent opportunity to deepen her coaching skills. She highlighted the significance of receiving feedback, practicing, and integrating coaching techniques into her everyday work. The cohort provided a space for her to explore both tactical and strategic objectives, resulting in increased confidence and clarity about her coaching approach.

Growth As An Agile Coach Through Gaining Confidence in Coaching

Israel Pattison, with a background in traditional project management, embraced the challenge of transitioning to Agile. He found that the cohort offered him invaluable support and feedback, helping him grow into a seasoned Agile coach. The experience not only expanded his coaching knowledge but also gave him the confidence to contribute to the organization’s strategic objectives and inspire others in the Agile mindset.

Gain Mastery in Agile Coaching Through a Structured and Proven Program

Lastly, Shannon Ewan, Managing Director for the International Consortium for Agile (ICAgile), emphasized the importance of creating a structured program like the cohort. Through regular supervision, participants had the opportunity to practice and integrate their coaching skills, building the confidence to positively impact teams and organizations.

The Immense Value of a Cohort

Panelists shared that joining a cohort provided a supportive community of peers, a safe environment for learning and growth, diverse perspectives for personal growth, a structured learning environment for skill development, and a deeper understanding of their coaching styles. Overall, being part of a cohort positively shaped their careers as Agile coaches, fostering continuous learning, and professional development.

Coaching Agility From Within Cohort

Our next Coaching Agility From Within Cohort kicks off in the Fall of 2023. We have one more LIVE panel event planned for those who missed this opportunity to learn more from former cohort participants.

This live event will take place on August 28 from 1-2 PM ET.

Your chance to learn more about our Coaching Agility from Within cohort starts here.

Live panel event by TeamCatapult ' What it takes to grow as an agile coach'.

Why Agile Team Facilitation is an Important Leadership Skill

…are leaders facilitators, or are facilitators leaders?

Facilitation is a skill best learned and improved through practical experience as a facilitator. A deep understanding of Agile Team Facilitation coupled with practical experience is the way to gain confidence and competency in Agile Team Facilitation.

Four Reasons Leaders Need Agile Team Facilitation Skills

If you are wondering if this skill – and this workshop – is right for you, here are four reasons to get you motivated to learn more about Agile Team Facilitation.

  1. Stop spinning your wheels! Stop making the same mistakes you are making and instead learn and implement a system that has been proven to work and yield favorable results!
  2. Motivate high performance teams! Motivation is what gets a team moving. Transforming a team into a high performing team, into the direction they build can be tricky, however. Agile team facilitation skills can help you move the dial in the right direction. 
  3. Gain a different perspective on how to interact with others! Look at the issues at hand through a different lens. Listen with the purpose to understand, not respond.
  4. Achieve Results! While this makes sense for any meeting you facilitate, as the team members are high performing, the outcome usually has higher stakes. Achieving results is an important aspect to learning team facilitation skills.

TeamCatapult faculty has been leading Agile Team Facilitation for years. We have an amazing program ready so that you can grow as a leader with Agile Team Facilitation skills.

In a fast-paced, multi-day workshop, full of hands-on opportunities for practicing new skills, participants explore the five cornerstones of successful facilitation so they confidently know what’s needed in any situation.

In Our Agile Team Facilitation Workshops We Cover:

  • The beliefs and assumptions of the facilitation mindset
  • The art of planning, designing, and conducting collaborative sessions
  • Strategies to define and reach consensus on decisions
  • How to make confident, impactful decisions in the moment
  • How to give and receive feedback to grow your facilitation skills

But that is not all. You’ll receive planning and design templates to help you prepare, plus abundant opportunities for practice and implementation.

Agile Team Facilitation, Agile Team Coaching and More!

When I wrote the book The Art & Science of Facilitation I intended it to be a road map for anyone on their journey to leading effective collaboration with Agile teams. 

How can readers like you put these facilitation skills into practice?  By “getting on the road” with this road map, that is, by joining us for one of the workshops we offer. 

Here are some of the upcoming opportunities for the experiential learning our workshops offer:. 

Agile Team Facilitation

February 27-March 3, 2023
12:00 PM – 4:30 PM ET

Advanced Facilitation

May 15-19, 2023
12:00 PM – 3:00 PM ET

Agile Coaching

March 20-24, 2023
12:00 PM – 4:30 PM ET

Changing Behavior in High Stakes

Part 1: March 22-24, 2023
Part 2: May 10-12, 2023

Last but not least, for those leaders who crave to be the kind of leader who:

  • Understands how to evaluate and assess where a team is at on their journey to high performance
  • Can step in and help teams have difficult conversations with grace and ease
  • Has the capacity and understanding to grow other leaders

…we invite you to look at our cohort program!

The Coaching Agility From Within Cohort Program is an in-depth, 9-month program emphasizing rigorous practice and rich feedback opportunities including skill drills, peer coaching, team coaching, ongoing group work, professional one-on-one coaching, and one-on-one supervision of actual Agile coaching sessions in your own work environment.

We would love to meet you in one of our workshops in 2023!

Women in Leadership: How to Find Your Authentic Voice

Do Women Make Better Crisis Leaders? 

Leadership effectiveness is about the extent to which people are willing to follow the direction a leader sets. We support what we help to create. What makes people most likely to follow a direction is the opportunity to have a voice and contribute to the direction and to feel heard in the process. Leaders who are able to listen, be curious, take in multiple perspectives, navigate decisions that do not have easy answers, consider the impact on both people and results, and get things done are far more likely to build relationships and trust…someone that others want to follow. 

There are three languages of communication that we speak in: 

  1. Power
  2. Affect
  3. Meaning 

women in leadership

Men Vs Women Leaders: Who Speaks Affect?

Men and women both can and do speak in Affect, But organizations can have cultural biases that minimize or silence communication in affect. I’ve witnessed leadership teams where someone would inquire about how the staff might feel about a decision and the response was sentiments like – ‘this is work, it’s not personal’ or ‘I don’t know, I’m not their therapist’. Those beliefs hinder anyone from bringing the voice of affect, which is needed at all times, but most certainly in a time of crisis. 

Our societal norms make it more socially acceptable for women to bring the voice of affect,which is one reason this skill might be more developed for women. Yet this is ultimately about having range in your behavior and communication;meaning that it’s available and accessible to men as well. 

Obstacles that Dissuade Women from Actively Pursuing Leadership Roles

Many years ago as I took on a new leadership role I was told by the CEO “I don’t think you have what it takes to lead.”About six months later he came back to me and said “I was very wrong.”. Leadership is not a cookie cutter mold – it looks different on everyone and yet women often get told we are ‘too much’ of something or ‘not enough’ of something else. Women are often judged or critiqued against an old mental model of what leadership looks like. We need to change that. Our job in corporate America is to welcome differences in leadership – we need leaders who are effective and capable of bringing a whole range of behavior and communication propensities to their role. 

Women Who Pushed Back Are an Inspiration

I’m inspired by many women who have a story to tell where they pushed back against feedback or norms that said ‘you can’t do it that way’. Oprah tells a story about when she first launched her talk show and after a bad experience with a guest segment she made a personal decision that she would no longer invite certain types of guests. She got lots of push back about how that would not work and people would not watch. Amidst all of that feedback she maintained her clear vision about the impact she wanted to have and what she believed was needed. It’s a real example to me of clarity of purpose and trusting your gut instinct that makes it your own brand of leadership – not someone else’s.  

Advice for Young Women Entering the Workforce

Don’t take it personally if someone thinks your version of leadership is not leadership. Treat it as a data point and decide what you want to do from there. Keep in mind that the feedback is as much about them as it is you. Find your own authentic voice and then find the place that is the right fit for you. Pay attention to your gut instinct. When a team or company does not feel like a good fit – follow that instinct before you get locked into believing that you don’t have any other options and you have to just be miserable in order to bring home a paycheck. 

Impactful Business Lessons From the Pandemic to Carry Forward

When I draw a timeline of my professional and personal life, what I have come to learn is that many of the high moments are preceded by a low moment – a time when it felt like everything was being pulled out from under my feet. 

So coming into 2020 I already had a value of looking at those ‘low’ moments as a place to create rather than get caught up in the disappointment, fear or longing for what once was. So in March of 2020 I pivoted the whole business to go from executive coaching and leading workshops in the room across the country to coaching and leading workshops online – and it worked! My business had transitioned to completely remote since 2012, so we already knew how to work online. 

I have learned the value of not being so attached to how we do things currently that I miss the moments to invent, create and pivot to something completely new. It’s important to observe what’s needed and be willing to try small experiments that you can learn from quickly. The pandemic taught me to be okay with things not being perfect and make it okay for others as well. I call it the year of our beautiful human imperfections – where it’s okay to bring your full-self to work. 

Find your Superpower as a Female Leader

I know this about me: I care about and I frequently seek the perspectives of others. I do both of these without thinking, so they come naturally. I’ve learned to find the balance of not over caring – meaning filling that role for others. I have also learned that there are times to seek perspective and time to just make a decision and move forward. 

I encourage you to find and nurture your superpower. It may take some trial and error to land on it, so start now and take notes. (or something to wind this up.)

Marsha

An earlier version of this article was published in HR.com as part of their Women in Leadership series. 

How to Develop this Most Important Interpersonal Skill of Listening

One of our most basic human needs is the need to be heard and seen. Yet we live in a world where there is more transmitting than receiving. 

Social media, email, video chats, etc. all exist to help you get your message and opinion heard. 

We often think we are listening when in fact we are busy…

  • Making the conversation about ‘me’
  • Sifting and sorting for ideas that resonate for me
  • Making connections with things that are also true for me
  • Discarding things I don’t like
  • Gathering evidence to refute, persuade or cajole the other into seeing my perspective
  • Loading up my response and anxiously awaiting the moment I can respond
  • Making up stories about the other person, that may or may not be true
  • Drifting away, thinking about the past or worrying about the future

These are natural ways our brains function in a conversation, while it serves a purpose, it’s not really listening. So how do we develop this interpersonal skill of listening?

The Absence of Listening

Listening is foundational to communication and relationships with others. 

You have likely experienced the absence of being heard in some way that led to feeling:

  • Disconnected
  • Mis-understood 
  • Anxious 
  • Fearful 
  • Frustrated
  • Apathetic
  • Angry

We may not intend to have this impact on others, the absence of listening creates a loss of connection and understanding.  It’s a void that can raise the stakes in a relationship. When the stakes go up, conflict and breakdown emerge. 

That can look like anything from avoiding talking with someone, or having the same conversation over and over again, or a full blown argument with raised voices. The roots of conflict can often be traced back to someone feeling misunderstood or not heard. 

Three Ways to Build the Muscles and Interpersonal Skill of Listening

Skillful listening is one of the most impactful skills in navigating interpersonal relationships. 

It’s the doorway to genuinely seeing and hearing what’s said and not said. It influences the questions you ask and the outcome of conversations. Just like muscles that you work at the gym, the “listening muscle” strengthens with practice. Here are three attributes to concentrate on:

1 Focus of Attention

Be here now. It’s natural for our mind to wander. When it does, use a phrase like ‘be here now’ to gently bring your mind back to focus on the conversation that you are having right in this very moment.  

Focus on the other. Bring the person(s) in front of you into focus and soften your focus on other things. Remove your devices or other distractions from your view, which signals to you and the other person that they are important. 

2 Quality and Depth

Come with Empathy and Compassion. Empathy opens up the ability for us to imagine what it might be like in someone else’s shoes. Compassion enables us to be helpful to the other. When you start a conversation from a place of empathy and compassion, rather than a place of apathy, sympathy, irritation, punishment, or desire to prove someone wrong, it changes the quality of your presence and listening and the impact you have on others. 

Listen for what’s not being said. There are the words we speak and then there is what we are not saying as well. What’s in between the words someone is saying? What are they pointing out without explicitly naming it? What assumptions do you hear being made? What’s the energy and tone in their voice? Where do they pause and where are they excited?

3 Response 

Reflect. Reflect what you’re hearing and acknowledge the highs and lows. Being able to mirror back to someone what you hear them saying can be refreshing and clarifying for the other person. This is the moment when people feel an immediate resonance and when they realize that someone is actually listening. You might say things like:

  • This is really tough for you right now.
  • You seem very clear in your thinking.
  • There is a lot happening for you right now. 
  • You are full of energy and excitement about this.

Inquire. Bring a mindset of curiosity and apply it when you practice skillful listening. Ask questions that deepen the conversation and create learning and insights for both the speaker and the listener. Listen to the words and phrases the other person uses and ask questions such as: :

  • What was that like for you? 
  • What’s important about that? 
  • You said it’s hard – what’s making it hard? 
  • You said excited – what are you most excited about? 

Suspend assumptions and solutions. When you notice that you’re starting to make assumptions or are tempted to start offering advice or solutions, pause and place those ideas in a mental parking lot – suspend them for the moment and use the ‘law of three’. If you have the same impulse three times then use that as a signal to ask the person for permission to share. You might say: “I have had a similar experience, would it be helpful to you if I shared what happened for me?” 

Be willing to be changed. As you build the muscles of listening, be ready for change. Really listening to someone else can not only have a profound impact on them, but it can change you as well; if you allow it. I have watched someone enter a conversation with a very clear opinion on a certain topic and leave with a completely different one.. This happened because both parties were engaged and practiced ‘skillful listening’. It was through this conversation that not only did their opinions change, but the relationship became more connected because they felt seen and heard.

Over to You: How Do You Listen?

Is listening a skill you want to work on?

Will you be implementing these tips to listen with intent?

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