Team Coaching

How to Work with Conflict in Teams: The Agile Team Facilitation Stance

I always say: “A great leader is ready to merge from everyone!”

Today I would like to share my recent talk with Agile Toronto. We had a conversation about how to work with conflict in teams.

NOTE: If you’d rather listen to me talk than read this article first, feel free to skip to the bottom of this article and find the embedded recording, but …you’ll miss some great visuals!

Conflict… and Standing in the Storm

My definition of a “Storm” is when conflict emerges in the room, or when conflict isn’t in the room but it’s going somewhere else and it’s undermining what happens.

Together, let’s look at conversations, and the way we engage in conversation as a lens for looking at conflict, how teams communicate and how that makes a team effective, or ineffective.

I am going to start with the Kantor 4 player model.

Kantor 4 Player Model

“The structure of our conversation determines the outcome of it.” ~ David Kantor, Theory of Structural Dynamics.

Everything that we say, every sentence, every speech-act can be coded into one of four actions.

Coded into one of these four:

MOVE – sets direction in the conversation
FOLLOW – supports the move
OPPOSE – offers correction or constraint
BYSTAND – offers a morally neutral comment on what’s happening in the conversation

Here is an example of how a conversation with all of these 4 actions would go:

In a foodie group conversation:

“Lets go get Sushi in the 5-star restaurant on the corner” That’s a MOVE!
Your FOLLOW would be “Sounds good. Would love to.”
An OPPOSE response is something like this: “Hey I am not so sure, I am not feeling Sushi tonight”
While the BYSTAND action would go something like this: “It sounds like we have an idea on the table” – naming what’s happening.

MOVE and OPPOSE are the vocal actions of advocacy, bringing something forward and taking a stand for something.

FOLLOW and BYSTAND are vocal actions of inquiry and they provide curiosity and more data.

We need all four of these to be active and voiced in a conversation, when one or more are missing some common patterns emerge.

Common patterns often point to a way of looking at breakdown or conflict in our conversations, doing it in a structural way.

Common Stuck Patterns That Happen in Teams

Having the same conversation over and over again should throw up a bunch of yellow flags!

Here are 4 stuck patterns that happen in teams:

SERIAL MOVING – Not really sure what we accomplished: nothing carried to completion
COURTEOUS COMPLIANCE – Over time, this points to covert opposition.
COVERT OPPOSITION – the thing that is said is different that I really intend or for somebody to bystand what I oppose.
POINT-COUNTER-POINT – move on the table and a very clear oppose. Feels like people are locked in conflict.

When MOVE and OPPOSE are the predominant acts, we are missing a FOLLOW and a BYSTAND. Structure becomes a way to look at to bring attention to or call for one of the missing actions.

Going from Locked Opposition, MOVE and OPPOSE, to being able to bridge and find context, something that I can follow or support, something that you’re seeing, being able to name it and bring it into the conversation, keeps us in the conversation and allows us to move forward!

Groundhog Day Conversations!

Groundhog day conversations are those conversations we are having, over and over without resolution.

What patterns might this type of conversation be falling into? How can you change the nature of the conversation by bringing in a different vocal act?

You would need to manage opposition out of the room. The voice of opposition is needed! When it’s not voiced it’s an indicator that it’s coming out in one of the different actions i.e. move, follow or bystand.

Step back and look at the structure of the conversation and yourself:

Can I name what’s happening?
Can I name structurally what’s happening?
Can I let the name of the structural pattern inform how I might make an action as leader, as a facilitator in that conversation?

To listen to this conversation, and the Q & A session, watch this QuickTalk YouTube Video!

Celebrating a Journey to Masterful Agile Team Coaching: Cohort Edition

After a successful 2020 inaugural cohort “Coaching Agility from Within” we are several months into the next cohort program and preparing for yet another group of new cohort members to onboard by mid-May 2021.

Time flies when you are having fun!

In this article we want to give you an overview of our Cohort program as well extend a personal invitation to you: help us celebrate the completion of this journey with the first cohort graduates and possibly apply to join us this year as a cohort member.

Are you curious what joining our cohort could mean to your career and your leadership journey? We invite you to learn more!

What Is the ‘Coaching Agility from Within’ Cohort?

The goal of the cohort is to build demonstrable competency in agile team coaching where agile coaches are equipped with a deeper understanding and awareness of themselves so that they are able to lead and coach change in effectively coach agile teams and adapt to what is needed in the moment.

This cohort is designed to help you go from asking:

How do I skillfully deal with resistance in my team?
How do I navigate team conflict that arises in the moment?
How do I help my team reach high performance?
How can I tell if what I am doing even qualifies as team coaching?
How do I coach leaders in my organization who just ‘don’t get it’?
How can I stop feeling like I don’t know what I’m doing and worrying that someone will find me out?

To leading this:

I see conflict as a source of energy for my team and I feel confident in my ability to work with it. I’m also not afraid to bring conflict forward if it’s impeding progress.
I am clear about how I support teams in their journey to high performance and how I evaluate where a team is at when I engage with them.
I am a skilled coach and it shows.
I am confident in my ability to coach a team. I’m adapting both my leadership style and the way I engage, to support them in doing their best.
I confidently and skillfully navigate tricky conversations with my colleagues and those in authority positions, in service of my team’s development.
I am highly sought after because I’m masterful at leading change in Agile teams.

What Will You Gain From Being Part of This Cohort?

Clarity in your own Team Coaching practice.

If you are an external coach, you will refine how you think about your own practice of Agile team coaching and how you contract with teams. If you are internal, you will refine how you talk about the outcomes of working with a coach and the outcomes teams can expect. In either case, you will become more clear about boundaries and what creates the best environment for teams to thrive.

Personal Growth.

How we think is how we lead others. Continue the journey of personal growth that started for you in the foundational facilitation and coaching courses. When Agile coaches are able to come from a place of greater self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-mastery and self-authority then they show up for teams in a more powerful way with greater results.

Proficiency in Coaching, Mentoring and Facilitation.

This part of the journey is steeped in real-world practice. You will be working with real teams and getting feedback along the way. This will deepen and refine your skills.

Greater demand for your services.

People don’t contract for your services because of a piece of paper, they work with you because of the deeper work you have done to refine and master the craft of coaching teams and the positive impact you have when you work with others.

Our Vision For You

…is to become a leader who:

Inspires and motivates high-performing Agile teams
Grows other leaders
Helps teams have difficult conversations with grace and ease
Feels competent and experienced

The Right Fit for the Right Cohort Program

How will you know if you are the right fit for this cohort and if this cohort is the right fit for your leadership journey?

This in-depth 8 month program is rigorous, placing an emphasis on practice and feedback opportunities through skill drills, peer coaching, team coaching, ongoing group work, professional one-on-one coaching and one-on-one supervision of actual Agile coaching sessions. You will have ample opportunity to learn from your peers and bring real-world scenarios to the group for feedback and guidance.

If this sounds like you can fit this into your life, we would love for you to apply to this cohort program.

The Competency Certification Cohort!

Just one more note. You cannot go through the motions in this program. We expect that you will commit to the program and invest the time in your own learning, show up and engage, and express a sincere desire to improve. In return, you can expect that we will show up and engage and support and challenge you in your journey. We promise, the commitment will be worth it in the end!

Celebrating Those Who Completed This In-depth 8 Month Program

Join us in celebrating the ‘Bluebirds’! This fantastic group of agile coaches graduated their cohort at the end of 2020.

The events of 2020 created a unique experience for all of us and as a cohort group we put the principles of agility into practice as we all adapted to the changing landscape of 2020.

We were just days away from being together on the beach in North Carolina for the residential program when a world-wide pandemic was announced and after thoughtful dialogue we made the decision to postpone the residential and eventually held it remotely. While it was not our first choice the remote residential was a moving and meaningful experience – created out of clear intention by everyone to show up fully, connect with one another and deepen the practice of team coaching.

This group co-created an experience full of grace, generosity, and accountability for themselves and each other.

The best part about seeing this group of leaders thrive is knowing that while the official cohort has ended, their connectivity and their learning has not! These leaders continue to meet on a monthly basis to support each other!

They are also eager to support our current cohort members and look forward to potentially meeting and supporting YOU in our next cohort, which starts in May 2021!

Quotes and Notes from the Bluebird Cohort!

We asked our Bluebirds for quotes and notes about their experience. Here are the reflections from Dave Ross, Jennifer Bullock and Vicky Hora.

Dave: “As I reflect on our cohort last year, several things come to mind. It was a rigorous, almost year-long, process and fraught with all kinds of unexpected challenges (such as Covid, cancellation of the residential), but what kept us on track was incredible flexibility and leadership shown by Marsha and Kay, and peers who were driven to overcome and succeed no matter the obstacle. We kept going because we were being exposed to new concepts and techniques that challenged our existing thinking, and called us re-think some of our fundamental beliefs about Agility, Coaching, Mentoring, Teaching and Facilitation. There is something refreshing about seeing these topics, that I use in my everyday working life, from an entirely new perspective that brings revelations and insights I would not otherwise have. So I am indebted to Marsha and Kay for running the cohort, in this most difficult of years, and to my cohort-mates for enhancing what we learned in practice coaching circles, all of which lifted me up and helped me succeed.”

Jennifer: “I am fortunate to have been part of the inaugural cohort and of the awesome Bluebirds team. Despite the twists and turns of 2020, we worked together as a team to redefine what the cohort would look like and leaned all in to the experience. I learned so much more than I anticipated and have grown in the focal areas of coaching, mentoring, facilitating, and training, making this a memorable and valuable experience.”

Vicky: “The cohort journey with Marsha, Kay and my awesome Bluebirds/friends was gratifying and humbling, and the learnings gained have been invaluable. The journey has created more realms of possibilities for my life’s purpose that is all about – Making teams and people love their work through inspirational coaching, mentoring, facilitation and training!”

Are You Next? Apply to Join Our Next Cohort Program in May 2021

If you are ready, we’d love for you to put in your application to this cohort! We are excited you are ready to continue your learning journey and we are thrilled you want to accomplish it with the Cohort.

How to Gain True Mastery in Agile Team Coaching

How we lead and how we manage are the basic competencies in team settings. But leadership is a craft that requires investment and growth. Now more than ever, the survival and success of our organizations depends on making strategic change where it matters most.

Agile Team Coaches are called upon daily to help teams grow, develop and become high performing agile teams. To do this well, Agile Team Coaches need depth in a variety of competencies.

Mastery in agile team coaching is about being able to sense what is needed most in the moment and dance among various competencies in order to show up in the way that will best support team growth and performance, in that moment.

In the ICAgile Coaching Track we identify five discrete competencies, the sides of the Agile Coaching Competency Wheel: Facilitation, Professional Coaching, Professional Team Coaching, Training and Mentoring. Let’s start with the two competencies on the left, the ones that require that we know what we are talking about, that we have content knowledge.

Training

When the people we work with have a gap in their understanding of Agile, or the frameworks, principles, values or techniques, even the mindset, education is where we turn to. If they simply do not know, it is our job to provide them with the knowledge, something which is often the case at the start of someone’s Agile journey. When we think about training we tend to think of formal workshops, leveraging theories of adult learning, but training can also be in the moment, sharing context appropriate knowledge on the spot. The right information, at the right time, in the right way.

Mentoring

As people progress on their journey the emphasis moves to applying the knowledge they have acquired. At this point the competency of mentoring – providing one’s wisdom and guidance of the subject matter to guide the situation at hand – becomes important. The mentor is clear about what they know and what they don’t and they use a coaching approach, rather than telling the client what to do. Mentoring may include coaching, counseling and advising, but the action taken stays the choice of the individual being mentored.

Agile Team Coaching Certification

Coaching as powerful leadership, our Agile Team Coaching workshop and certification, gives coaches the space to explore and apply a model for coaching and mentoring conversations so that they are able to distinguish the difference between them and know when to intentionally use which

Practice coaching skills in one on one and small group conversations
Guide others to make intentional and empowered choices so that they achieve their desired objectives
Coach the journey to team high performance so that they work as a holistic integrated system.
Explore the unique characteristics of an Agile team.
Uncover and effectively resolve team conflict, resistance and dysfunction so they learn how to self-manage.

If you are interested in attending this workshop, learn more and register here.

Agile Team Facilitation

Another, second, highly recommended certification that pairs with Agile coaching is the Agile Team Facilitation workshop.

During the Agile Team Facilitation workshop participants learn to design and lead engaging, purposeful, and fun meetings that achieve the desired results every time.

Explore the cornerstones of the facilitation stance so you confidently know what’s needed from you in any situation.

Practice the steps of planning and design, using pre-defined templates so that you can stop spinning your wheels and wasting time before every meeting.
Practice facilitation where you will learn to put the stance and skills into practice.
Apply the facilitation mindset where you will learn to put the stance and the skills into practice.
You will plan and design a facilitated session with mentoring from your instructors.
You’ll conduct the facilitation and get feedback from your instructors and participants.

Coaches with both an Agile Coaching as well as the Agile Team Facilitation certifications, are offered a unique opportunity.

An 8-month cohort to gain a true mastery in Agile coaching!

Mastery through Practice

While you can learn concepts and practice skills of agile team coaching, real mastery is grown through practice – with real people and real teams in your real world. Imagine having the opportunity to practice and getting specific feedback that helps you, as an agile coach, grow.

Emphasis on practice and feedback opportunities through skill drills, peer coaching, team coaching, ongoing group work, professional one-on-one coaching and one-on-one supervision of actual Agile coaching sessions.

Students will have ample opportunity to learn from.

What Will a Cohort Expose?

You’ll no longer feel off balance when conflict arises with your team because you’ve had plenty of time to integrate your coaching and facilitation skills in a rigorous, feedback-rich environment.

There will be no more winging it or playing safe hoping no one will notice.

Skills and growth will be mirrored back to students in real time. No more simulations or just theory. All of the feedback you receive is based on your work with your real teams.

Strategic Changes in Leadership

What we have found and implemented through the Coaching Agility from Within™ program is that there are specific competencies essential to effective leadership.

Collectively, these competencies signal that a collective leadership culture begins with how individual leaders show up. It’s about how they engage with and impact their teams, and it’s about the self-awareness that it takes to know our impact and make choices that align with our intention.

True Mastery in Agile Coaching!

Anyone can call themselves an agile coach. What sets a truly agile leader apart, however, is someone who has a demonstrated proficiency in agile team coaching. After all, adaptive challenges do not come with roadmaps, they require new ways of engaging and leading through the process of dialogue.

The Coaching Agility from Within™ program is designed to guide agile coaches along the pathway to proficiency in each leadership competency, providing key solutions for teams needing sustainable, systemic change.

It offers insight into best practices for how to move leadership forward by:

Growing your own, internal leadership
Growing leadership at all levels
Developing a team coaching capability
Turning theory into action

Over the course of the program, cohort members come to see facilitation and coaching as a craft to be developed, as well as an essential leadership skill. In addition to expanding their understanding of the traditional model of leading from the front, members learn what it means to lead from the back and how to lead by partnering.

Along the way, the program facilitates tough conversations that emerge for the cohort about the tensions created in the process of growing their leadership range, and it supports their awareness of how they, as leaders, can best support a team’s ability to perform more effectively. Leaders with range are far more likely to discover a clearer path and lead more sustainable change. And our experience with this program shows that the best way to grow leadership range is to focus on competency development around mindset—identifying and examining values and beliefs about how change happens and the role of leaders in team settings.

From this foundation, focus can expand to include skill building, learning retention, experiential learning, and reflective practices.

When we move to the right hand side of the competency wheel we let go of our subject matter knowledge in order to serve our clients best. The aim of agile coaching is to develop the natural wisdom of those we coach, not to make them dependent on us. As they grow in their agility we need to grow their confidence in their ability to solve their own problems, which means we step away from solving their problems for them and allow their own wisdom to come forward.

Facilitation

Facilitation is the art of leading people through a series of activities to achieve predetermined outcomes in such a way that everyone participates and buys in. A lot of people think that facilitation means running a meeting, throwing in your own ideas while you are at it, but a true facilitator stays neutral, fades into the background when conversations flow, skillfully encourages exploration of all options, manages dysfunction, to name but a few skills. Good facilitation is essential for good collaboration.

Professional Coaching

Our clients are generally able to solve their own problems, if we support and believe in them. In professional coaching we believe we are there to stimulate our client’s thinking and reflection in a creative way. We bring our neutrality and care, they bring their problem, and together we create the right conditions to explore the options. We do that through listening intently, reflecting what we hear and see, through asking thought-provoking questions, and a multitude of other coaching tools and techniques. We want our clients to fulfill their personal and professional potential, at their pace, reaching the goals they set for themselves. We make sure that they come up with an action that moves them in the direction of their goals, and we hold them responsible and accountable.

Coaching someone means that we stick to their agenda, their pace of change, their solutions to the problems they bring. It therefore means we let go of our own agendas, opinions, judgements and solutions about what actions they should take.

Professional Team Coaching

Professional Team Coaching utilizes the same mindset, has the same objectives and a similar approach to Professional Coaching, but it adds an additional dimension : maximizing team performance. It makes use of the team’s collective intelligence, and it brings in a systems view to reveal to the team what is happening in their system, rather than for every member individually. A team coach needs to know how to access the team’s collective intelligence, including creating the conditions for all voices to be heard. The coach holds the team responsible and accountable, and importantly, teaches the team to coach themselves.

It must be clear to you by now that Agile Coaching borrows heavily from a number of professions, and we have a lot to learn from these professionals. You can choose to study each of these disciplines separately, or you can attend one of our certified workshops to start your journey!

Why We hold Check-in and Check-out as a Sacred Space

The Practice of Check-In: How Voicing and Listening Create Opportunities for Deeper Engagement

by Kari McLeod and Marsha Acker

Check-In Time!

What did you learn yesterday?

What is something you’re committing to the team today?

What do you need from the team today?

These are versions of the questions we ask during the Check-in for the second day of our TeamCatapult Agile Facilitation class and our Agile Facilitation and Coaching Intensive.

We asked it this Tuesday at the start of a Virtual Intensive we are leading for an organization. We met on Zoom and we used a virtual circle to visually connect our participants, our learners.

It was the most moving Check-in I have ever witnessed.

The first participant who checked in bottom-lined her key take-away from the day before. She then committed to being as present as possible for the day. She told us that the events of the previous evening were weighing heavily on her. She said that it was difficult to imagine being at her computer, in training for most of the day. She is concerned for the nation. She then asked for grace and patience from the rest of the class because she was bound to be distracted.

Her openness, her rawness set the tone for the Check-in.

Making Space

How do we as facilitators, coaches, and trainers make space for what is happening in our world while helping participants get as present as possible?

We at TeamCatapult hold the Check-in and Check-out as a sacred space.

It is the way we invite our learners to be present.
It is one of the ways that we create a strong container for our participants to connect and build trust.
It is one of the ways we create safety for them to learn, share, fail, and learn more.

We have been holding these opening spaces at every meeting and for every class since we started our work. And we have felt that these spaces have been even more important in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Considering the protests, riots, and the resulting law enforcement and political reactions and responses following George Floyd’s death, it’s clearly even more critical to be attuned to the need for that space.

Opportunities for Deeper Engagement

Going back to the Check-in on Tuesday, our participants held our opening circle, our Check-in, as a sacred space. They were vulnerable. They were as present as they could be. I had tears in my eyes. After everyone had checked in, one of my colleagues paused and acknowledged all of the emotion that was in the space. And then we introduced the agenda.

Bringing Our Whole Selves To Work

In the remote, working environment, we are breaking through the old narratives that there is a “work self” and a “home self.” We now bring our whole selves to work.

Everything that we are watching in our society today, and the personal impact it has on us, comes with us into the workplace. Pretending that it doesn’t or creating artificial barriers prohibits collective intelligence and authentic engagement. It drains people rather than engaging them.

Facilitating a Check-In

Purpose: The concept of Check-In comes from dialogue. Its purpose is to allow everyone a chance to speak. It’s also an opportunity to listen deeply to what others are saying and it allows everyone a period of transition from what they were doing before to connecting to one another and getting present to the work ahead.

The prompt:

Have a question or a prompt for Check-in like:

What’s your state of mind?
How are you feeling?
What do you want to say to become more present?
What do you want to let go of?

You can also make the Check-in about the topic of the meeting:

What are you hoping to take away from today?
What are your thoughts about ____.

The process:

People share, but in no particular order and no need to call on each other.
Speak when you are ready.
Really listen to what’s said and not said.
Allow for uninterrupted Check-ins. (Ask the group to allow everyone to speak without comments or cross talk until you’ve heard from everyone.)

When you’ve heard from everyone then open up the conversation to questions and comments.

This process that we hold as a sacred space is a practice that you can implement right now, at your next meeting. By doing so, you’ll find that the practice of Check-In honors everyone’s voice and develops the skill of listening…both create opportunities for deeper engagement.

How Leaders Engage: Learning to Be an Agile Leader

Showing Up Is Important. Engaging Is Paramount

In “How Leaders Show Up: Learning to Be an Agile leader” we learned that research consistently and clearly demonstrates that team effectiveness is highly dependent upon the quality of communication between team members.

The quality of communication is how we explain why some teams are high performing and others struggle. It’s how we explain why some organizations are successful at large organizational changes and others are not. And it’s how we explain why we might have very engaging and productive conversations with some people and end up in complete frustration with others.

In our work with leadership teams, what we often see is that leaders spend a great deal of time focused on the “what” in their business:

What’s the target for next quarter?
What’s our revenue?
What are we doing to innovate and transform?
What’s our roadmap?
What metrics will we use to show progress?

However, leaders spend very little—if any—time looking at how they engage.

Conversations are the foundation for all of our interactions. But there is a structure to how conversations unfold—to how we engage—that determines how well we perform. Just like the structure of a riverbed determines the flow of water in a stream, the structure of a conversation determines performance.

Structuring Conversations To Improve Engagement

At TeamCatapult, we’ve found that when we introduce engagement from a structural perspective, leadership teams are able to start seeing things much more clearly:

How they are getting in their own way
Where their espoused values and beliefs create dissonance with their actions
Where they are having more meaningful and productive conversations to solve the more complex and adaptive challenges in their organization

When we can see and name the structure of conversations in a non-biased way, it’s easier to see where the structure is either enabling or getting in the way of a positive, productive outcome, and it’s easier to feel at choice in our interactions.

Structural Dynamics To Improve Conversations

The theory of “structural dynamics” was developed by David Kantor in the early 1970s. It emerged from his work in family systems therapy but was extrapolated in the 1980s to characterize interaction in any system, including the relationships that exist in organizations.

4 Kinds Of Action for Effective Interactions

In structural dynamics, there are 4 kinds of action that need to be taken in every conversation in order for the interaction to be effective.

The 4 action competencies are:

Move: this is when someone initiates an idea. It sets the direction in a conversation.
Follow: this action continues the direction of the conversation, supporting what is happening an/or offering clarification.
Oppose: this action challenges or disagrees, and offers an alternate perspective.
Bystand: with this action, someone notices and names what’s happening in the conversation in a morally neutral way. The bystand action often bridges competing ideas.

For a conversation to unfold in an effective and meaningful way, someone in the room needs to vocally bring each and every one of these actions into the conversation.

Field of Conversations

Everything we want and desire from business agility stems from our ability to have conversations that explore ideas, perceptions, and understanding. From our ability to surface together what people do not already have on their own.

“We call this type of conversation a dialogue.”

A dialogue is when you explore the uncertainties and questions that no one has answers to. It’s where you think together, using the energy of differences to enhance the collective wisdom.

People often use the terms “discussion,” “conversation,” and “dialogue” interchangeably to mean the same or similar things. In reality, however, they are each quite different and result in very different outcomes.

From Monologue to Dialogue: Making a Choice

Most teams would self-identify as having lots of dialogue, but when you observe them for a little while you often find that they tend to spend most of their time in monologue. You hear one person dominate, or you hear two people locked in debate with two opposing views. In fact, very few teams are able to have skillful conversations or dialogue without some prompting and some intentional and thoughtful awareness.

Because our conversations are where we make meaning and sense of what’s happening in our organizations, it is critical to build that intentional and thoughtful awareness. This begins with understanding the basic fields of conversation. If we want to move forward more productively, we need to know where we are.

The “fields of conversation” is a framework developed by MIT lecturer Otto Scharmer in his observations of groups in conversation. It describes four different fields that we move in and out of when we are interacting in a group.

“Courteous Compliance”
In this first field of conversation, we are downloading. In a new group, this is where people are figuring out what’s acceptable and not acceptable. In a more established group or team, this is where people are following the rules, and the conversation often stays on the surface. It is a polite field of conversation where the main action competencies of Move and Follow predominate.
“Breakdown”
If you stay in the conversation long enough, you will reach this second field of conversation. This is where debate occurs. The action competencies of Move and Oppose are most common in this field. Unconsciously, groups in this field of conversation will make an important choice: they will either stay with the Oppose and make space for it to be voiced, or they will silence the Oppose and go back to a state of courteous compliance.
“Thinking Together”
For groups that stay with the often uncomfortable feeling of the Oppose action taken in the “breakdown” field of conversation, the reward is that they get the opportunity to “think together.” No longer focused on rehashing the past or holding tightly to views and opinions, this is the space where genuine curiosity enters. One does not have to agree with another’s point of view in order to inquire and be curious about it. As curiosity flourishes in this field of conversation, the group begins to focus on creating the future.
“Generative Dialogue”On rare occasions, we might push beyond “thinking together” and enter the “generative dialogue” field of conversation. This is the true space of innovation, where we are no longer holding onto our own opinion but are creating new ideas together. Generative in nature, the action competencies we see in this field of conversation are Move, Follow, Oppose, and Bystand. Each action competency is active and voiced within the group.“What you resist persists.” -Carl Jung

How We Do Anything is How We Do Everything.

When we never leave politeness or debate fields of conversation, we just keep reenacting the past. We get stuck in our current beliefs and thinking. We do this for many reasons. Maybe we have leftover beliefs from how we have seen our mentors lead. Or there is leadership culture in the organization that says, “Let’s not have any surprises,” so everyone makes up their mind on discussion points before they arrive to a meeting. The trap in this thinking is twofold: it assumes that we already know everything we need to know, and it assumes that the decision point requires a technical solution.

There is risk and vulnerability to showing up and being in dialogue with others. It requires letting go of “knowing” the answers and the desire to have it all figured out. It also requires that we make space for opposition. Rather than viewing the Oppose action as something to be feared, we need to view it as necessary. Without opposition, we will remain stuck where we are.

And when we gain a new level of understanding, when we learn, and when our beliefs and mindsets shift, we achieve real change.