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Archives for May 2021

Leadership is a Conversation: The Importance of Creating Space for Dialogue

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On May 20, 2021 I was a guest speaker at the Business Agility Meetup – Twin Cities edition. 

This BAM presentation is part of a series of interviews and conversations I am having about facilitation with the agile community and people in leadership. As the author of ‘The Art & Science of Facilitation’, I am essentially on my second Book Tour! 

Join me as I revisit this conversation about dialogue. Make sure to read to the end and watch the full video! 

Conversations are Elusive

Effective conversations are elusive. We think we are communicating effectively only to find out that we didn’t. 

Instead, we end up in the same conversation over and over again aka a groundhog conversation. People nod politely as if in agreement and then go tell their colleague what they really think after the meeting. Or, there are so many ideas on the table that we lose focus and none of them get adequately completed. 

No individual, group or organization is immune to these patterns in conversation.

Conversations: Effectiveness and Breakdowns

It’s not if conversations will become ineffective or lead to breakdowns, it’s when, how often and how leaders are able to respond in the moment when it happens that makes the difference. 

Leaders Hold the Key to… More Agility

Leadership is a conversation. And leaders who can create the conditions – facilitate – effective conversations will hold the key to higher performance, greater alignment, and more agility. 

In their Harvard Business Review article, ‘Embracing Agile’, authors Rigby, Sutherland and Takeuchi wrote 

“Agile has revolutionized the software industry…Now it is poised to transform nearly every other function in the industry. At this point, the greatest impediment is not the need for better methodologies, empirical evidence or significant benefits, or proof that agile can work outside IT. It is the behavior of executives.”

Leading Through Conversation

In the video below, I explored with the attendees of Business Agility Meetup what it means to lead through conversation. We discussed the following:

  • Understanding the importance of reading the room and why it’s everyone’s job
  •   Learning a language for reading the room and how to model it for others
  •   Gaining strategies for how to start facilitating conversations more effectively today

I don’t want to give it all away right here – head on over to the YouTube video to listen to this invigorating conversation! 

Watch the Full Video: Leadership is a Conversation

Ready To Learn More About (Virtual) Facilitation

We thought you might be!

This summer, get more knowledge about facilitation by participating in the next Virtual Facilitation Masterclass: “Leading Engaging and Productive Virtual Collaboration”

We’ll show you the common mistakes that keep remote teams from realizing true agility.

Then, you’ll learn practical solutions to plan and design virtual meetings so you can:

  • Facilitate genuine connection and trust among remote team members
  • Turn virtual meetings into effective, efficient decision-making tools 
  • Engage your team’s creative power regardless of zip code
  • Motivate your remote team members to perform to their capabilities with ease 
  • Build a truly collaborative team that gets results

Explore this workshop now!

How and Why Holding the Group’s Agenda is Paramount in Facilitation

As a facilitator, holding the group’s agenda is one of five guiding principles to keep the meeting moving forward. 

When a group is resisting the decision they are narrowing in toward or responding with reluctance toward every attempt to move the meeting forward, you are likely encountering the tension between two unspoken but competing agendas in the room. 

The principle we are looking at today, ‘holding the group’s agenda, is about continually asking “How can I best serve this group?”. It’s about wondering “ What does this group really need right now?” It’s letting your agenda take the backseat so that you can help a group tackle emergent dynamics. It’s about uncovering what’s really going on in the group so that they can move forward as a team. 

The Three Group Agendas To Hold When Facilitating

The first step when it comes to holding the group’s agenda is to understand that there are three different levels of agendas that a group can have:

  1. The Presenting Agenda
  2. The Emergent Agenda
  3. The Developmental Agenda

Let’s look at each of these separately

The Presenting Agenda 

This agenda, the presenting agenda encompasses the meeting’s purpose, desired outcomes, and plan. It’s why this group has come together, and it includes the facilitation design anticipated to help the group achieve what it hopes to achieve.

The Emergent Agenda

The emergent agenda is what emergentes live in the room as conversations happen, new perspectives are voiced, and ideas are generated. 

New thinking is often behind the emergence of this level of group agenda.

The Developmental Agenda

The developmental agenda is a deeper agenda that focuses on how the group works together. It’s about group behavior and dynamics. Facilitators working with agile teams are not just trying to help a group achieve an outcome for a meeting, they are often helping a team develop. 

Hold the Group’s Agenda, Not Your Own!

When you, the group facilitator, work with a group, it’s helpful to know where they want to go. Knowing their presenting agenda enables your to hold their desired outcome – what they hope to achieve from working together – and more fully comprehend what else is happening in the room. 

Because along their journey, groups can get in their own way, and it can get especially complicated as a facilitator when what the group thinks they need and what they actually need are two different things. 

When you hold the group’s agenda – presenting, emergent, or developmental – you are choosing to be of service to the group over yourself, your position, and your perception of our own worth. 

This is about them, not you! 

The principle of holding the group’s agenda is about being aware of what the group wants and how they also might be getting in their own way. It’s about being able to really listen to what’s emerging in the team – hearing what the team needs – while remaining aware of what your own agenda might be and not letting it take over. 

Go Slow To Go Fast

The slippery slope with agendas is that when your own agenda feels so right to you, you risk missing the group’s agenda. And if you are facilitating a team in which you are a member of the team, discerning your agenda from the team’s agenda becomes even more difficult. 

In my book ‘The Art & Science of Facilitation’ I go deeper into these agendas and show what holding the group’s agenda looks like in practice!

“You owe it to yourself and the team to challenge the notion of certain agendas” 

Holding the Group’s Agenda is Big Work!

The way to change meetings is to help teams and groups move the meeting from a surface-level conversation where they may as well be rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic to a place where it’s okay and even expected to have real conversations. 

Most groups need guidance and help getting to this place, and the organization’s culture and team dynamics will have a big impact on how easy the process is. 

There is work to do. Without it, you’re wasting time – yours and everyone else’s. 

Don’t shy away from emergent and developmental agendas,, even when it’s tough. This work lays the track for agile teams to become agile, and each meeting is a meaningful step toward more systemic change within the team or organizational culture. 

The Five Cornerstones of the Agile Team Facilitation Stance

The cornerstones of the Agile Team Facilitation Stance include:

  1. Honoring the wisdom of the group
  2. Maintaining Neutrality
  3. Upholding the Agile Mindset and Practices
  4. Standing in the Storm
  5. Holding the Group’s Agenda

Learn more about each stance by clicking the links! 

How to Work with Conflict in Teams: The Agile Team Facilitation Stance

I always say: “A great leader is ready to merge from everyone!” 

Today I would like to share my recent talk with Agile Toronto. We had a conversation about how to work with conflict in teams. 

NOTE: If you’d rather listen to me talk than read this article first, feel free to skip to the bottom of this article and find the embedded recording, but …you’ll miss some great visuals! 

Conflict… and Standing in the Storm 

My definition of a “Storm” is when conflict emerges in the room, or when conflict isn’t in the room but it’s going somewhere else and it’s undermining what happens. 

Together, let’s look at conversations, and the way we engage in conversation as a lens for looking at conflict, how teams communicate and how that makes a team effective, or ineffective. 

I am going to start with the Kantor 4 player model.

Kantor 4 Player Model

“The structure of our conversation determines the outcome of it.” ~ David Kantor, Theory of Structural Dynamics.

Everything that we say, every sentence, every speech-act can be coded into one of four actions.

Coded into one of these four:

  1. MOVE – sets direction in the conversation
  2. FOLLOW – supports the move
  3. OPPOSE – offers correction or constraint
  4. BYSTAND – offers a morally neutral comment on what’s happening in the conversation 

 

Here is an example of how a conversation with all of these 4 actions would go: 

In a foodie group conversation: 

  1. “Lets go get Sushi in the 5-star restaurant on the corner” That’s a MOVE! 
  2. Your FOLLOW would be “Sounds good. Would love to.”
  3. An OPPOSE response is something like this: “Hey I am not so sure, I am not feeling Sushi tonight”
  4. While the BYSTAND action would go something like this: “It sounds like we have an idea on the table” – naming what’s happening.

MOVE and OPPOSE are the vocal actions of advocacy, bringing something forward and taking a stand for something.

FOLLOW and BYSTAND are vocal actions of inquiry and they provide curiosity and more data.

We need all four of these to be active and voiced in a conversation, when one or more are missing some common patterns emerge. 

Common patterns often point to a way of looking at breakdown or conflict in our conversations, doing it in a structural way.

Common Stuck Patterns That Happen in Teams

Having the same conversation over and over again should throw up a bunch of yellow flags!

Here are 4 stuck patterns that happen in teams:

  1. SERIAL MOVING  – Not really sure what we accomplished: nothing carried to completion
  2. COURTEOUS COMPLIANCE – Over time, this points to covert opposition. 
  3. COVERT OPPOSITION – the thing that is said is different that I really intend or for somebody to bystand what I oppose. 
  4. POINT-COUNTER-POINT – move on the table and a very clear oppose. Feels like people are locked in conflict. 

When MOVE and OPPOSE are the predominant acts, we are missing a FOLLOW and a BYSTAND. Structure becomes a way to look at to bring attention to or call for one of the missing actions. 

Going from Locked Opposition, MOVE and OPPOSE, to being able to bridge and find context, something that I can follow or support, something that you’re seeing, being able to name it and bring it into the conversation, keeps us in the conversation and allows us to move forward! 

Groundhog Day Conversations!

Groundhog day conversations are those conversations we are having, over and over without resolution. 

What patterns might this type of conversation be falling into? How can you change the nature of the conversation by bringing in a different vocal act? 

You would need to manage opposition out of the room. The voice of opposition is needed! When it’s not voiced it’s an indicator that it’s coming out in one of the different actions i.e. move, follow or bystand. 

Step back and look at the structure of the conversation and yourself: 

Can I name what’s happening?
Can I name structurally what’s happening?
Can I let the name of the structural pattern inform how I might make an action as leader, as a facilitator in that conversation?

To listen to this conversation, and the Q & A session, watch this QuickTalk YouTube Video!

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Recent Posts

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  • How to Welcome Disagreement Within Your Team (and mean it)
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  • Why a Difference of Opinion Makes Your Team Much More Effective

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