Marsha Acker

Listening is a Choice and a Competency

I used to believe that I listened really well. That was until I found myself sitting in my professional coach training class doing an exercise on listening.

After that 15 min exercise, I was humbled by how I was hearing what was being said but not actually listening.

Instead, I was thinking about how I could relate to what was being said, or what I wanted to say next, or just waiting for the person to take a breath long enough for me to jump in with an experience I wanted to share.

Be Fully Present When Listening

There was a lot going on in my head but none of it was “fully present listening” – turning down the volume on my internal chatter and placing my focus fully on the other person.

One of the most powerful ways we can show up as leaders is to be fully present and listen to others.

To seek understanding.

To listen for what’s not being said.

Sometimes the very act of listening to someone is all they need in the moment. They don’t need you to fix, solve, or do anything – just listen.

The greatest part about listening is that it’s a practice!

You get better at it the more you do it.

Practice Listening!

What’s one situation or relationship where an improved practice of listening could have a big impact on the outcome?
What’s a challenge that you want to give yourself today around listening?
Write down just a few notes about how you’re feeling about the situation and how you want to challenge yourself today.

Listening and Reflection

At the end of today, come back to your notes and answer these questions:

What did you do differently?
What, if anything, did you notice about the impact it had on the other person?
What, if anything, was different about the outcome of this situation?

Enjoy Building the Competency of Listening!

Marsha

What Will You Focus On In 2018?

I LOVE January! A new year and a new start.

There is something so invigorating about a clean slate. White space. A chance to reflect on what I’ve learned.

What do I want to try again?
What do I want to keep?
What do I want to discard?
What will I refine?
Where do I want to create something new?

It’s like a big release retrospective! It’s also the time of year where we make lists, set goals and define intentions.

Leaders Need To Focus

In our work with leaders, we help them focus. We help them define foci (pronounced fo-sigh) statements.

Foci statements are positive, inspiring and bold. They are so BOLD that they may even be hard to write down at first because they will not feel real or possible.

It will be a statement that would make the greatest difference for you if it were true this time next year. This statement should say something about who you are being.

Some examples would be:

I am a courageous and authentic leader.
I am a published author.
I am an authentic team member.

Want To Give It a Try?

1. What’s something that would make the greatest difference for you if it were true in January 2019?

Think about an area of your life where you want to make a change. It might be leadership, family, work relationships, your partner/spouse, your personal well-being. What’s the area that you want to place your attention this year because attention in this space would have the biggest impact and make the greatest difference for you?

2. What do you want to accomplish most?

Brainstorm a list. No judging! Just create a list of the big, bold things that you want to accomplish. They might be things like: Get a new job. Take more time off. Exercise more. Grow my business.

3. Now that you have your list, narrow it down.

First Step: What’s the one thing on this list that would make the greatest difference in your life?

Next Step: Who do you need to BE in order to accomplish this?

What Is Your Foci Statement?

Thinking about that one thing you want to accomplish, who would you need to BE in order to accomplish this? I’ve had the idea to write a book since 1994. I think about, I talk about it, I dream about it, I brainstorm titles for the book. But it’s 2018 and the book is still not written. Because, for me, my mindset, the way I think about writing, gets in my way of actually writing. What I want is the outcome of writing a book. That’s something that I will DO. But what’s missing is who I need to BE in order for a book to happen.

For me, my foci statement is “I am a voice for collaborative leadership.” One of the ways that I get in my own way when it comes to writing is I devalue what I have to say in comparison to what others might say. This statement is important to me because notice it says “a voice,” not “THE voice,” not “THE RIGHT voice,” not “THE ONLY voice,” but “A voice.” I do have something to say about this topic and I do have quite a bit of experience with it, because it is how I lead. So that one phrase “I am a voice for collaborative leadership” is my foci statement. I keep it posted where I can see it and I have to remind myself like 100 times every 15 minutes to stay focused on that.

You Know You’ve Landed The Right Foci Statement If It:

takes your breath away to say it today
feels far away
will be an edge, something just outside your comfort zone
inspires you and call you forward to the next level

Here Are Some Inspiring Foci Statements That Other Leaders Have Created:

I am courageously authentic, fiercely courageous
I am a force multiplier
I am a wildly successful entrepreneur
I am a teacher that inspires and energizes others
I am an inspiring and motivating leader

Ongoing Step: How Will You Know?

Once you have a foci statement that resonates, capture a few things that will help you to know what this looks like. These are measures, the yardstick by which you define this foci statement today. These should be concrete and measurable.

Some of my measures are:

I write one blog a month
I have completed a draft of a book by June 1, 2018
I write every weekday for at least 20 minutes
I publish one article by October 1, 2018

I can’t predict in Jan 2018 all the different kinds of opportunities that might emerge that fit under this heading of being a voice for collaborative leadership.

Here’s the thing about foci statements, they are like agile projects.

So I’ll check in on these measures every month and I’ll adapt them because they might shift or change.

Be willing to adapt your measures. Allow yourself to make changes without removing the measures completely.

Who knows if a book will be written, but I’m writing the book because I want to share what I see. Maybe, a book will happen or maybe I’ll find another way to share my voice. Either way, I’m creating space for moving forward on something. I am focused on what’s important and I will make space for the unknown!

What’s Your Focus for 2018?

Drop me a note and share!
(When you see me you have my permission to ask me about my book writing. There is nothing greater than public accountability!)

Cheers to 2018!
Marsha

Rich Understanding & Communication for Rich Results

Heineken’s new viral video has an important message about the role that container building and conversation plays in overcoming barriers and conflicts. Check it out…

Politics in the United States is providing us with a heightened sense of awareness about our differences. But these kinds of exchanges are not new, we’re just lately watching them on bigger screens.

Rich Conversations In The Workplace

How do we adapt and use these kinds of conversations in our workplace, day-to-day? Or for the teams that we serve? With a little proactive work, these are rich and valuable conversations that we can be fostering in our teams as well.

As team leaders or facilitators we’re helping teams daily to navigate conflict by finding the balance between inquiry and advocacy. Heineken’s video demonstrates some useful tools that we’ll break down for you further on in the post.

Let us just say this:

Laying the Groundwork and Engaging in Different Kinds of Conversations Does Take More Time!

The results for the team are richer understanding between team members, higher quality outcomes, and improved velocity.

What would that look like?

The same conversation that keeps happening at each meeting due to the same unresolved conflicts would be eliminated. The habit of not listening and talking past one another? Gone.

How about by talking with and listening to each other, team members will actually achieve the results you know you and your team are capable of producing? It is that satisfaction and achievement that builds momentum inside a group.

If you haven’t seen the video by now, definitely watch it before you move on to help identify how you might prepare your team for these kinds of conversations.

Lay the Groundwork for Rich Communication

Step one:

In order to work with conflict, teams can’t just dive into the deep end of the pool. They need to spend time laying the groundwork. And, to be clear, laying the groundwork is not a one time task; it’s ongoing.

Here are some principles to keep in mind:

Get to know one another as people. We each have dreams, hopes, fears and challenges. When we put labels on people we start to view them as a concept or idea to be debated or defeated. When we take the time to know others as people first, rather than the label we’ve placed on them, it shifts our perspective.

Find Common Ground

When we start by acknowledging the things that we are aligned with, then we can build from there.
When we start from disagreement, it’s harder to find alignment and we become stuck in the back and forth nature of conflict: where one person “must be” right and the other “must be” wrong.
When we can find common ground, even if is just a shared value, there is an energy created from alignment. The alignment can move the conversation forward with more depth and meaning.

Work Together on a Task

When teams come together they need a purpose. Simply put, a common task provides that common ground and creates a feeling of forward progress and achievement that they can attain, and feel together. Resulting in a very positive foundation for a high performing team.

Engage in a conversation

Step 2:

When you lay the groundwork you create an enabling environment that supports more difficult conversations. Here are some principles to think about:

Aim For Dialogue

Dialogue is a specific kind of conversation. It’s ‘in the flow of meaning’ participants actively seek to deepen understanding beyond what they already know. In dialogue there is balance between inquiry and advocacy.

Voice Your Authentic View

In order to be in dialogue, we need to know what’s really true for others. Holding back or filtering what we say does not help to further the conversation. It only gets the group lost in trying to decipher what you’re saying, from what you really intend.

Inquire: Ask Powerful Questions

Powerful questions are short, often start with “What” or “How” and inquire about the other. When we come from a place of ‘knowing’ versus the place of inquiry we miss out on the opportunities to learn and find places of alignment and empathy.

Questions like “What’s it like to be you?” “What’s important about this?” or “What are three things we have in common?” are powerful inquiries!

By focusing on similarities and common tasks to be achieved, it’s easier for team members to remember they are actually on the same team. When the communication is strong and the inquiry level is high, more challenging conversations can be held without dissension and without defensiveness.

Next, Take a Look at Your Team

In order to help you activate these two powerful steps, take a few minutes and identify:

Where do you encounter similar types of conversations, as the video illustrated, at work?
Where do you need a different kind of conversation?
What’s one thing you could do today that might lay the groundwork?
Where does conflict exist in your team?
When conflicts or differences emerge in your team think about how you might apply some lessons from either the Heineken video, or the steps above.

You and your team can build strength and trust when you lay the groundwork and then engage in conversation in an ongoing manner. Breakthroughs and solutions come from better understanding. So do better team results.

TeamCatapult and The Grove Consultants Announce Partnership for Virtual Team Facilitation Course

Virtual Team Facilitation Course Partnership Announcement

TeamCatapult and The Grove Consultants International have formed a partnership to co-deliver the Virtual Team Facilitation course. The partnership leverages TeamCatapult’s proven core curriculum for agile coaches and leaders and The Grove’s expertise in virtual environments, graphic facilitation, and team development. The launch of this class takes the foundational mindset and skills of agile team facilitation to the virtual environment.

Facilitating a Virtual Working Environment

The partnership addresses the daunting task many agile coaches face to effectively facilitate teams in the ever-increasing virtual working environment. Nearly 3% of the workforce, or 3.7 million people, work remotely (Global Workplace Analytics, Jan. 2016). “So much of our work today takes place virtually and yet people cringe when they are invited to virtual meetings. We want to help facilitators transform virtual meetings to a place where people are engaged and productive. We have long been users of the Drexler/Sibbet Team Performance model by the Grove and are excited to partner with them on this new course,” Marsha Acker, CEO of TeamCatapult, the first company in 2012 to offer the ICAgile accredited Agile Team Facilitation.

Virtual Teams and Virtual Meetings Facilitation

Rachel Smith, Senior Consultant and Director of Digital Facilitation Services at The Grove Consultants, and author of the soon to be released book Beyond Virtual Meetings, notes, “We are thrilled about this partnership and excited to be part of launching the program. I am really looking forward to the course and the new insights it will bring in this area.” Rachel brings in-depth experience and expertise of group process in a virtual environment, having successfully facilitated large scale, multi-month, remote organizational change initiatives.

Collaborative Leadership

The virtual team facilitation program continues TeamCatapult’s mission of providing a learning journey for 21^st century collaborative leaders who want to grow their capacity of working with agile teams. The Grove Consultants are experts in team development and visual facilitation. The co-leadership of the virtual facilitation course will enhance the facilitation mindset with a very real opportunity to lead virtual teams with measurable success. “…remote collaboration can be absolutely painful, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s also not going to go away.” beyondvirtualmeetings.com

Why Being Wrong Matters

‘How you do anything is how you do everything’

…including how you manage, perceive and continue to lead a team when you’re wrong.

Discover why and how you can navigate this professionally and easily.

Have You Ever Been Wrong?

Ever had that moment of “Wow! I really misjudged that situation…” or “Yikes! I just cut that person off in mid-sentence” or even “Ugh, I totally missed the obvious there”?

Of course, you have. If you’re human, you’re probably wrong several times a day.

Sometimes we’re wrong because we have limited data.

Other times it’s because we have an emotional attachment to a particular outcome, and while that outcome may not be what’s best, it’s hard to let go.

Being Wrong is a Critical Leadership Skill

Whether the source is emotional, or neurological, being wrong is a critical leadership skill.

Not in the sense of the ability to be wrong; as humans, we’ve got that covered. I’m referring here to the ability to accept and integrate, the possibility of being wrong.

Current neuroscience studies offer a lens into why we get things wrong. Sometimes it’s our brain that’s perceiving things wrong, as when it tries to complete a sentence for us, based on what we’ve heard so far, but the sentence ends with a different conclusion.

Our internal models for how things are supposed to work don’t always match what’s happening in the real world. Sometimes a threat response has been triggered, but the situation turns out to be relatively harmless.

Research data tells us that being wrong is a natural function and denying the possibility is not only counter to that data, it doesn’t serve us as we try to lead our teams to solve complex issues with higher thinking.

As leaders, we are called upon daily to put forth opinions and decisions when we don’t have all the pertinent data at our disposal. That means, that at least some of the time we’ll be wrong, as additional data emerges and our initial judgment doesn’t look as good as it once did.

The critical leadership skill, then, is having the ability to admit that we were wrong and accept the correct answer as better than our first attempt.

One way to think about it differently is to think about problem-solving from the perspective that there is often more than one right answer.

If we say to our team “I need the best solution to this issue by the end of the day today”, we set up a very different scenario for ourselves and others, then if we say “I need a few possible solutions to this issue by the end of the day today.”

Opening the thinking weakens the right/wrong dichotomy and creates possibilities. Those options not chosen are no longer mistakes but are simply part of the process.

Going Forward & Adapting

It is only in this state of openness that we can accept the lesson that being wrong offers us. We can adapt going forward. We can make better judgments in the future, all the while acknowledging that we will likely be wrong again.

This ongoing mental process of judging, failing, learning, and adapting is also a critical leadership skill. And we can’t access the process if we can’t be wrong.

The challenge for leaders is the ability to be vulnerable – open to being wrong, and not losing the status that makes us leaders in the first place. Our senses tell us that no one wants to follow someone who is wrong and so we bluster our way through our mistakes. We look for scapegoats, or excuses, or perfectly logical explanations for what we’ve done, or said, and our positions of power create the opportunity for others to collude with us in that blustering.

But, when we allow that to happen, we are blocking the learning that comes from making mistakes, owning them, and learning from them. As leaders, we have the opportunity to model vulnerability, and to normalize it in the workplace.

Innovation Lies in Learning from Mistakes

When we are capable of that, we create teams that can be honest in their feedback to us, and to one another, appropriately critical of their own missteps, and constantly learning. And learning is where innovation lies.

Our current environment relies heavily on collaboration. The inter-dependencies in our work creates this reliance and that’s not likely to change any time soon. Collaboration, by its very nature, requires that we hold two distinct thoughts simultaneously.

First, that we have an opinion on an issue that we believe to be correct, and two, that others hold opinions that may also be correct. As leaders who want to create innovation, we have an opportunity to come with an open mind and bring authentic inquiry into the conversation. Through inquiry, we can help our teams think about problems from more than one perspective.

We can’t all be right unless we’re all thinking the exact same thing and that’s not likely.

No two brains are alike, because we are hardwired by our experiences and we each experience the world differently. You and I might have the same experience, but our brains will hard-wire that experience in unique ways, based on our past, unshared experiences.

Thinking Together To Create a Solution

Effective collaboration is only possible when we allow ourselves to let go of whose opinion is the right one and think together toward creating the best possible solution.

True collaboration happens when we walk out of the room, flying high with the knowledge that we’ve solved a problem in the best way possible, but none of us knows who, exactly, came up with the solution. Because we were thinking together and collaborating, we all did!

A leadership team I worked with was analyzing why their marketing wasn’t having the impact they expected. The first response was to blame the marketing team, and the ad agency. But the team leader asked a simple, yet powerful question: “What’s another way to look at this?” That got the conversation rolling, and as everyone seemed to talk at once, the solution emerged – the ads were focused on the users, but the users weren’t the buyers. The advertising was tweaked to focus on both, with the emphasis on the buyers, and sales went up.

How do we balance the need to lead with the possibility that we are wrong? We can practice self-deprecation, for one, but that’s not always effective.

Being of Real, Direct Service to a Team

In my work with leaders, I hear them say things like “I’m not the smartest person in this room” or “I’m sure that many of you have better ideas than anything I can come up with.”

Are those statements demonstrating vulnerability?

Yes, but they go a step too far. They undermine the trust that the team has in the leader and raise questions about the leader’s ability to lead. No one wants to follow an incapable leader.

Practicing Curiosity

Another way to lead AND be vulnerable is to cultivate curiosity. Ask thoughtful, open-ended questions that get people to open up and share their thinking. Questions like “what’s another way to look at this?”, “What else should we consider?” and “What would it look like if…” can shift the direction of a conversation and create more curiosity.

Curiosity deepens thinking, and the more curious the leader, the more thought the team will put into creating the solution. We can suspend what we do know in service of learning more about what we don’t know.

It takes practice. Curiosity is a muscle that builds by using it, like a bicep, in order to be strong. Curiosity and vulnerability require courage — and people want to follow courageous leaders.

Curiosity is a critical leadership skill.

If we already have all the answers and we believe that our answers are always the right ones, we have left no work to be done by our teams.

We’ll experience this as dis-engagement, where the team doesn’t speak up, but just nods and does what we have suggested be done. But they won’t really follow, they will just comply.

No one wants to follow an incapable leader and no one sees the need to follow a leader who already has it all figured out.