Communication

The Most Effective Approach of Continued Dialogue: It’s Where Change Happens! (Part 2)

In part one of this three part series on ‘Daring to Dialogue’ we looked at five types of conversations.

They include:

Monologue
Debate
Discussion
Skillful Conversation
Dialogue

In the second part of this series, I will be going through examples of each of these types of conversations with you, and what these types of conversations accomplish.

Are you ready for change to happen? Dare to dialogue!

The Monologue Conversation: an Example

When we sail with my daughter, we are very clear about communication expectations.Once we leave the dock and we’re under sail, we expect all instructions that we give to be followed. We do not expect a conversation, no pushback, just compliance with instructions. It’s not a space for discussion or dialogue, it is a monologue.

Now, my daughter is 12 years old and she is a master at debate. When we established this agreement with her, she had some questions and pushback. What we did is we slowed down enough to have that conversation with her and to create space for her to push back and also for us to offer our perspective about why.

The outcome of this conversation was that we all arrived at a deeper understanding of what was needed from each of us once we were underway, but once we were underway, it’s monologue.

The Dialogue Conversation: an Example

Now, let’s look next at an example where dialogue is the most effective approach.

Katherine is an executive I work with. She has been actively working to bring more dialogue into how she leads. And before we met, she operated in a very closed system. She told people what she wanted them to do and sent them on their way.

She has a really big and bold vision for the future of her company and she has learned the value and impact of asking people to participate in co-creating that with her. Recently she said to me, “We are really grappling with what our culture will look like post-pandemic.” Two months ago, she held a very definitive view of what she thought culture would and should look like, but now, after holding a number of dialogues on the topic, her thinking is really different and it’s changed.

This is what was so striking to me, because I truly believe that dialogue is where change happens, and what matters is that she’s wrestling with this question that has no easy answer. There is no one solution. It’s not a question like what color should we paint the walls or should we have offices or open spaces, this is a complex dynamic question that encompasses many moving parts with lots of uncertainty and things like, how do we want to interact? How will agility support us? What’s the best way to collaborate moving forward? She’s now leading her team through a co-created process to imagine what their culture, what they want their culture to look like in a post-pandemic world. And this includes carving out time and space to have continued dialogue and their culture will be so much more effective and innovative because of it.

Dialogue is Where We Gain Greater Insight and Agility

I don’t want you to get rid of all those conversational skills you have, but my goal is to stretch your thinking about the kinds of conversations you have and how you might expand your skillset to bring more dialogue when it matters.

While there’s a use for monologue and maybe even debate and discussion, what I’m proposing here is that dialogue is where we really move toward greater insight and agility, but it does require being intentional.

During every conversation we make a choice, it can be conscious or unconscious, but it is a choice about what kind of conversation we want to engage in. And when we choose to become curious, listening and asking questions, we are actively suspending our point of view in favor of hearing other points of view.

Groundhog Day Conversations

When we decide not to suspend, we are choosing to defend our position or point of view instead, and this leads to Groundhog Day conversations. Those are those conversations that you have over and over again.

What conversations are you facing right now that might need more dialogue?
Do you wonder what our work will look like after the pandemic?
How will we be navigating change and transition moving forward?
What does agile transformation look like for us?
How can I engage and energize my team in this dispersed world?
How will we bring more innovation into our organization?

If one of these conversations is what you need to have right now, you’ve come to the right place, because there are some common assumptions that makes dialogue less likely.

Here are examples of these common assumptions.

I don’t have time right now
I’ve got too much going on.
Don’t bring me problems, just bring me the solutions.
I’m right and they’re wrong.
My view is the only valid view here, there is really no other way of looking at this.
I’m the boss, it’s my job to decide.

We could’ve taken that route with my daughter (as her parents) about our sailing, but it would’ve been a slightly different outcome than the one we ended up with.

Assumptions block true dialogue and lead to defending, which again, leads to the Groundhog Day situation, which we don’t want to be in. And none of us want to be having the same conversation over and over again, and yet we do, it happens to all of us.

How Leaders Can Support More Dialogue

It’s for this reason, the most important activity of leaders, especially in the context of agility, is to create an environment that supports more dialogue and less monologue and debate.

It’s the approach that executives and leaders must cultivate if they actually want to create the change that they say they want to see.

Conversations, whether we are or aren’t having them and how we are having them are one of the greatest predictors of success. If we can learn to be more intentional in how we invite, cultivate, participate, and facilitate dialogue, there will not be any challenge or change that an organization cannot skillfully navigate to produce an effective outcome.

How does this work? Read part 3 of this series to learn more about what dialogue looks like in practice!

If you’d rather take 30 minutes and watch Marsha present, click here to watch a video!

How Daring to Dialogue Creates a Culture of Agility in Leadership (Part 1)

Have you ever experienced a time where you thought you were going to have a conversation, but instead you just got yelled at?

Have you ever thought you were going to have a conversation, but it ended up that one person spoke for the entire time and you didn’t get a word in?

Of course, you have. We all have.

And if we’re really honest, there are times when we have been the offender, rather than the victim of those. It makes sense, we’re working at a faster pace than ever in a time of constant change and it doesn’t always occur to us to be intentional about our conversation.

In fact, Playwright, George Bernard Shaw summed it up pretty well when he said,

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

A lot of times, we think we are communicating when we are really doing something else.

As an executive coach and team coach, and the author of The Art & Science of Facilitation, I work with leadership teams who are wrestling with big challenges that are getting in the way of the results that they really want.

In this three-part series, I will share some practical and actionable ways that you can bring more dialogue into your conversations. We’re going to look at what kind of conversations you have, when you suspend, and when you defend, and four actions that are required in all conversations.

In this first article, we are going to name and identify the types of conversations we have.

The Monologue: A Type of Conversation

Let’s look metaphorically at the kinds of conversations we engage in, and this comes from the work of William Issacs.

The first kind is monologue and monologue is a single voice, it’s turn-taking. I’ll say everything that I’m going to say, and then you can go.

It’s a monologue, it’s a download.

Comedians do monologues at the start of their sets, like Jimmy Fallon on the Tonight Show. Monologues are effective for getting a bunch of information out and setting the stage.

The Debate: A Type of Conversation

The next kind of conversation is debate, and it’s a beating down of the other. It’s probably the least effective mode of conversation.

This is advocacy for your point of view over others, and there will be a winner and a loser. In debate, I’m holding really strongly to my point of view. Unwilling to be swayed, my only job is to persuade or convince others of my way of thinking.

Debate can be very effective for highlighting the issues and really understanding the differences between two points of view.

However, when overused, which is often, debate can be quite toxic. Why? Missing form this conversation is inquiry.

For an example of debate, we can look at the political system here in the US. Political candidates often debate topics. And the mindset here is that there’s a right way and a wrong way to look at something.

On a smaller scale, debate can happen anytime there’s a decision to be made.

A common debate in my household is deciding what’s for dinner. This is my most dreaded conversation of each day. Either everybody wants something different and they’re advocating for what they want, or nobody has an answer at all. But if everybody wants something different and is unwilling to be persuaded, then we’re stuck. And deciding what’s for dinner at the end of the day is draining.

The Discussion: A Type of Conversation

The next kind of conversation is discussion and this word gets used a lot, usually with the intention of having a skillful conversation, which we’ll talk about in a moment, but it’s actually something a bit different.

Discussion is actually the kind of conversation that is set up for people to defend their points of view, but just in a more conversational way than we might think of as organized debate.

In fact, discussion means to “break apart”. And it’s certainly not a toxic back and forth, in the way that debate can be, but it can feel a little bit like table tennis, lobbing the ball back and forth.

Think about a time when you walked into a meeting and sat across the table from someone else and thought of yourself as separate from them and their issues.

A common example of a discussion (in Agile) is between a product owner and an architect. They’re working towards the goal of producing a product together, but they can often get stuck in thinking about their world or perspective that they bring. Thus think about end users versus technical design, and then the conversation can feel very broken apart in their different realms.

How Skillful Conversations Work!

Now, let’s circle back to the idea of skillful conversation and what people are often thinking when they use the word discussion.

In skillful conversation, we shift from thinking about sides to take and begin to look at the conversation itself as creating something. A bit like plowing the field where we’re digging under the surface, and this is where inquiry lives, and here the goal is to stay with something long enough to understand the thinking behind it.

In skillful conversation, we begin to shift from seeing just our differences to also seeing commonality, and this is where dialogue comes in.

Dare to Dialogue!

Dialogue, this last part is the art of creating a shared pool of meaning, and it’s a conversation with outsides. Only the idea of being curious and inquiring into differences and other perspectives. It’s the space where new thinking and new ideas happen.

In dialogue, like in debate, you can have a perspective, but your viewpoint doesn’t guide the conversation. In fact, in dialogue you suspend your point of view, not only to hear the others’ perspective, but to ask them more about it.

This is the space of curiosity and inquiry and listening without resistance, because this is where new thinking and innovation live.

The Gift That Dialogue Brings

When conversations bring new thinking and new insights and a view that we can do it, we can do this together, this is the gift that dialogue brings, and it takes a lot of courage to create.

Recap:

The kinds of conversations we engage in are

Monologue
Debate
Discussion
Skillful conversation
Dialogue

Each of these has a place and a time, and we need to know how to do each of them. Most of us are brilliant at monologue, debate, and discussion. We do them well. We’ve had years of practice.

In part two of this series, I will take you through examples of all five of these types of conversations, while part three will solely focus on dialogue.

If you’d rather take 30 minutes and watch Marsha present, click here to watch a video!

How Daring to Dialogue Improves Performance and Create a Culture of Agility

How Daring to Dialogue Improves Performance and Creates a Culture of Agility

A keynote presented at AGILE AND SCRUM 2021 Online Conference #agilecon2021

Enjoy!

~Marsha

How Leadership and Management Differ and Why That Matters to Organizations

Leadership and Management

Leadership and management. What, if anything, do they have in common and how can differences be explained?

Sometimes the terms “leadership” and “management” are used interchangeably. While they have several similar characteristics, leadership and management as a function produce vastly different results.

What Defines Leadership?

Leadership, according to Merriam-Webster, can be defined with the following three meanings.

The definition of leadership includes:

the office or position of a leader
capacity to lead
the act or an instance of leading

In theory, the role of leadership surfaces when a person is placed into a leadership position and then has, not only the capacity to lead, but often acts accordingly.

In practice, a leader is someone who has the vision to see how things can be improved. A leader compels others to embrace that vision and then inspires others to focus their efforts in making this vision a reality. In addition to motivating others, leaders excell when they are empathetic and connect with people.

In simplistic terms, leaders focus on vision and inspiring those they lead.

What Defines Management?

Management is defined as

the act or art of managing : the conducting or supervising of something (such as a business)
the process of dealing with or controlling things or people.
the collective body of those who manage or direct an enterprise

Theoretically, management is the coordination and administration of tasks to achieve a goal and objectives through the application of available resources.

In practice, a manager is someone who gives direction and guidance. Managers are accountable for the employees and the facilities they work for on a day to day basis. Managers plan and promote the schedule and tasks of employees and coordinate with and report to senior management in the company.

In simplistic terms, managers focus on managing people and managing work.

3 Key Differences Between Leadership and Management

Both leaders and managers are accountable and responsible for people, teams or brands.

There are several notable differences between leadership and management.

Managers count the value of what or whom they manage, while leaders add value to those they lead.
Managers are topic experts and hold a certain amount of power over those they manage, while leaders are influencers and inspire those they lead.
Managers manage work, while leaders lead people.

Management skills, by default, come first before leadership skills, and can be learned in business school.

Most often a leader’s development happens as they are put into leadership positions and at the same time are willing to learn, adapt, listen, communicate, work hard, plan, organize and work on developing their leadership skills.

In other words, great leaders never stop learning and are always evolving.

The Difference Between Leadership and Management and Why it Should Matter to Your Organization

Organizations need to be led by visionaries if they are to blossom and grow. A well-managed organization includes quality leaders with a vision that others will work towards.

Your organization needs leadership not only to survive, but to thrive in an ever-changing world.

The good news is that leadership is something that current managers in your organization can learn! Few are born to lead; leaders come from any background, choosing to pursue a leadership role. Whatever path a person takes, the key to a successful leader is having a purpose as well as a desire to serve.

“While only a handful of people are born with natural leadership ability, leadership is something that can be learned.” ~ Villanova University

A Shift in Mindset

Organizational success is directly correlated to great leadership.

Managers are in charge of, and handle, the status quo. They have objectives to set,

quotas to fill and goals to reach. Leaders on the other hand, take charge of the future by having a vision and getting a buy-in to that vision from everyone in the company.

This shift in thinking and organizational structure, going from management to leadership will transform any business – and the exciting thing is that it starts with people!

At TeamCatapult we have seen this exciting shift in mindset through our workshop attendees and the clients we work with. We’ve witnessed emerging leaders step up to lead and transform their teams, with positive outcomes.

Leadership is a craft that requires investment and growth. Then where and how can leaders gain the skills needed to lead and succeed?

Gaining Leadership Skills – Where to Start

We at TeamCatapult believe that leadership development should not be reserved for only the cream of the crop within your organization.

Our approach is different. We are passionate about helping leaders be more effective, collaborative, and adaptive as they grow their teams, lead change and achieve their desired results.

We want to help co-create the future. We’ll help leaders build a shared vision, develop the language and use the communication that may challenge current beliefs and assumptions, but will help to break through the limits that are impeding progress.

“When you stop discussing the tasks at hand — and talk about vision, purpose, and aspirations instead, that’s when you will know you have become a leader.” ~ HBR

Are you ready to get to work? Does your organization need a leader?

Start here.

How Advanced Facilitators Gain Self-Mastery and Can Read Group Dynamics

Are You Ready To Become an Advanced Facilitator?

In my book The Art and Science of Facilitation, I explain the five cornerstones of the Agile team Facilitation Stance.

The cornerstones of the Agile Team Facilitation Stance include:

These aforementioned cornerstones are important for all facilitators, but especially helpful for those at the beginning of their facilitation journey.

The links above will guide you through several resources to get you started. You might also need some tools – we have a wonderful free Facilitation Planning Toolkit for you!

Once you have a clear understanding of these principles, what’s the next step?

Next Step: Advanced Facilitation

Advanced Facilitation is about increasing your self-awareness so you can read the room, name the hidden dynamics beneath the surface, and effectively help groups modify their behaviors to achieve the best possible outcomes.

Is this you?

☆ You might be ready for a more personal journey to deepen your skills as a facilitator, agile coach, or leader of collaboration.

☆ You might be ready to build your own capacity to lead and work collaboratively in order to help others do the same.

Self-awareness and the ability to confidently read the group are key characteristics of leadership range. Are you ready to further develop your leadership skills?

About Gaining Self-Mastery

“Self-mastery is being in control of the internal thought processes that guide your emotions, habits, and behaviors.”

~ Thai Nguyen

That means turning within yourself.

Practicing mindfulness and self-awareness along with journaling and auditing yourself can help you gain self-mastery. Sometimes self-mastery includes knowing when to hit the “pause” button to self-assess.

About Reading Group Dynamics

How we communicate with one another either propels a group forward or holds it back.

Models and frameworks for communication, behavior and group dynamics help us make sense of what’s happening in the room and allow us to focus on something other than our own ego or personal agenda.

Having a deep understanding of the theory and science behind group dynamics will also inform how you guide the meeting.

Before you enter a room, have a model or models that provide you with a basis for understanding how groups and teams interact and perform.

The core model we at TeamCatapult use is Structural Dynamics, encompassing Daivd Kantor’s theory of face-to-face communication. Because they are structurally based, Structural Dynamics are visible in the room and, with practice, you will be able to see the structure of the interactions of the group!

Advanced Facilitation – The Workshop

In the TeamCatapult Advanced Facilitation Workshop, we cover:

Understand what it means to ‘read the room‘ and reveal the hidden dynamics
How to recognize your impact on others
Seeing and working with conflict; diagnose and change stuck dynamics
Giving teams a language for skillfully holding tough conversations
The Kantor Behavioral Baseline Profile and Structural Dynamics
Understanding your Kantor Baseline Behavioral Profile and how to apply it in day-to-day interactions
Working with group behavior using an implicit mental model and an explicit model for intervention
Recognizing the content, style, and structure of a group’s behavior

Our multi-day advanced training will take you on a personal journey to deepen your leadership practice as facilitator, coach, or team leader.

Become adept at identifying and overcoming communication challenges

Use real-world experience to work with group dynamics at a much deeper level
Uncover your own behavioral model for working with difficult dynamics
Learn to help teams modify their behavior for enhanced dialogue and collaborative performance
Discover how to name structural patterns and make intentional choices to change them
Identify the behaviors that challenge you most as a facilitator in order to better serve your team

Unlock The Wisdom Within!

For those with previous facilitation training and demonstrable knowledge of basic facilitation skills, Advanced Facilitation will help you become more adept at identifying communication challenges in groups so you can help them unlock the wisdom that resides within.