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How Reading the Room Can Make You a Better Leader and Communicator

How Reading the Room Can Make You a Better Leader and Communicator

April 3, 2023 | Marsha Acker

Reading the room is a concept many have heard about, but few of us know exactly what it means. How exactly does one read the room, how can someone apply reading the room, and what results are gained from this practice?

Use this article as a guide to learn more about better communication, positive signals when communicating, recognizing underlying conversations and the skills needed for better verbal expression of mood and goals.

leader with team listening intently and reading the room

What does it mean to read the room?

To ‘read the room’ is a term used to describe the ability to perceive and understand the emotions, attitudes, and behaviors of people in a given social setting.

It involves paying attention to nonverbal cues such as body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions, as well as the context and environment in which the audience’s attention and interactions are taking place.

female sitting on a couch, intently listening

Reading the room is an important communication skill

The ability to read the room is an important skill in various settings, including social gatherings, business meetings, and public speaking engagements, as it enables individuals to observe the mood, then adjust their behavior and communication style accordingly to better connect and communicate with others.

By using social awareness and reading the room, individuals can gain a better understanding of the mood and tone of the interaction skill, which can help them navigate social situations more effectively and build stronger relationships.

group leader listening to team

Observing the room + listening = reading the room

As a leader, it is essential to have a thorough understanding of the people and environment in the room.

Simply listening to one person is not enough to gain a complete picture of the situation. Instead, it is crucial to observe everyone in the room and consider their individual interactions with each other and their mood.

Take note of who is sitting next to whom and observe their mood. Do they appear happy, angry, distracted, anxious, afraid or uncomfortable? Observe how people are standing or sitting, as well as their facial expressions, including any subtle cues such as smirks or raised eyebrows.

By carefully observing each person in the room, you can gain insights into the social dynamics at play and make more informed decisions based on this understanding.

Remember, reading the room is not just about hearing what people are saying but also interpreting other cues and taking into account the broader context of the situation.

man observes a room through a slotted shade

Interpret group dynamics and read the room

When it comes to team meetings and groups, reading the room can be a powerful tool for leaders to interpret groups and their dynamics.

Understanding the dynamics of a group can help leaders to identify potential conflicts, anticipate challenges, and find opportunities to build stronger relationships within the group.

Leadership and reading the room

Here are a few key things that leaders should keep in mind when reading the (virtual) room in a large group setting:

  1. Look for nonverbal cues: People often communicate or speak their emotions and attitudes through cues, such as body language and facial expressions. As a leader, it is important to pay attention to these cues and look for patterns in how different individuals in the group are responding.
  2. Observe the interactions: In addition, leaders should also observe how individuals in the group are interacting with each other. Who is talking to whom? Who seems to be listening? Are there any individuals who are being left out of the conversation?
  3. Consider the context: The context of the group interaction can also be an important factor to consider. If the group is meeting to discuss a difficult topic, individuals may be more guarded in their responses. Alternatively, if the group is meeting in a more social setting, people may be more relaxed and open.
  4. Adapt your communication style: Once you have a better understanding of the group and its dynamics, you can adjust your communication style accordingly. For example, if you notice that certain individuals in the group are more reserved, you may need to make a conscious effort to draw them out and encourage them to share their thoughts and ideas.

By paying attention to these factors and actively engage in reading the room, leaders can gain a deeper understanding of the group’s dynamics at play and make more informed decisions based on this understanding.

a variety of people with different moods

Who was David Kantor?

David Kantor was a Harvard-trained systems psychologist and organizational consultant.

He was a renowned systems psychologist, organizational consultant, and thought leader in the field of communication and group dynamics.

Kantor was the creator of the Structural Dynamics Model, also known as the David Kantor 4 Player Model of Communication, which provides a framework for understanding the different communication roles that individuals can play in a group setting.

Kantor received his B.A. from Harvard University and his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Chicago. He taught at a number of institutions, including Harvard University, Boston University, and the University of Chicago. In addition to his work in academia, Kantor worked as a consultant for a wide range of organizations, including General Electric, The Ford Foundation, and the World Bank.

Kantor was the founder and CEO of the Kantor Institute, a consulting firm that specializes in helping organizations to develop more effective communication and collaboration strategies. He wrote several influential books and articles on the topics of communication, including his seminal work, “Reading the Room: Group Dynamics for Coaches and Leaders.”

Throughout his career, Kantor was recognized for his contributions to the field of communication and group dynamics. He was a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, a founding faculty member of the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, and a recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Organization Development Network.

The David Kantor 4 Player model

The David Kantor 4 Player Model of Communication, also known as the Structural Dynamics Model, mentioned in the previous paragraph, is a framework for understanding the different roles that small group of individuals can play in a group communication setting.

At TeamCatapult, we use this model in our leadership training and in the Structural Dynamics workshops.

This model developed by David Kantor is based on the idea that effective communication requires individuals to be able to switch between different communication roles.

The four roles in the model are:

  1. Mover: The Mover is focused on driving action and getting things done. They tend to be direct, assertive and focused on results.
  2. Follower: The Follower is focused on building relationships and maintaining social harmony. They tend to be supportive, empathetic and focused on the needs of the group.
  3. Opposer: The Opposer is focused on questioning assumptions and challenging ideas. They tend to be critical, skeptical, and focused on identifying potential problems or risks.
  4. Bystander: The Bystander is focused on observing the group’s dynamics and staying neutral. They tend to be reflective, impartial and focused on understanding the bigger picture.

Effective communication requires individuals to be able to switch between these different roles as needed to achieve the group’s goals.

For example, a leader may need to play the Mover role to drive action and make decisions, but also the Follower role to build relationships and maintain trust with the group. The Opposer role can also be important for identifying potential problems or risks that may need to wait to be addressed.

Overall, the David Kantor 4 Player Model provides a useful framework for understanding the different communication roles that individuals can play in a group setting, and can help individuals to develop more effective communication skills by learning to switch between these roles as needed.

Learning How to Read the Room

According to David Kantor’s Structural Dynamics Model, learning how to read the room involves understanding the different communication roles that individuals can play in a group setting, and being able to identify which roles are currently in play. This involves observing not only what people are saying, but also their body language, tone of voice, and other nonverbal cues.

For example, is there a dominant Mover driving the conversation, or is there an Opposer questioning assumptions and challenging ideas? Are there Followers building relationships and maintaining social harmony, or Bystanders observing and staying neutral?

woman observes two people communicating

Shift your own communication style

Once you have identified the roles that are in play, Kantor suggests that you can start to shift your communication style to better fit the needs of each person in the group. This may involve playing the role of a Mover to drive action and make decisions, or playing the role of a Follower to build relationships and maintain trust with the group.

Overall, learning how to read the room according to David Kantor’s Structural Dynamics Model involves developing a deep understanding of the different communication roles that individuals can play in a group setting, and being able to identify and adapt to the roles that are currently in play in order to achieve the group’s goals.

do you know your communication style?

How to practice reading the room

Practicing reading the room involves paying close attention to the energy in the room.

Negative energy, nervousness, anger, anxiety, and fear can all be communicated through body language and tone of voice, and it’s important to be able to identify these cues in order to respond appropriately.

When entering a room, take a deep breath and try to stay present in the moment. As you interact with others, listen carefully to their words and pay close attention to their body language. Are they smiling or frowning? Speaking confidently or hesitantly? Nervous or relaxed? Angry or calm?

By observing these cues, you can get a better sense of the and emotional dynamics in the room and adjust your own communication style accordingly. Remember to stay in control of your own emotions and reactions even when the stakes are high, and try to create a positive and open environment for others to speak and share their thoughts.

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About Marsha Acker
Marsha Acker | CPF, CPCC, PCC, ICE-AC, ICAgile Coaching Track Co-Founder, CEO of TeamCatapult, LLC
Marsha coaches leaders and teams, who want to work in a more agile manner and lead change in their organization. She is a Certified Professional Facilitator (CPF), Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC), a Professional Certified Coach (PCC), and Certified Structural Dynamics Interventionist through the Kantor Institute and Dialogix. Her coach training is from Coaches Training Institute and Center for Right Relationships.

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