Leadership

Leadership is a Conversation: The Importance of Creating Space for Dialogue

—————-

On May 20, 2021 I was a guest speaker at the Business Agility Meetup – Twin Cities edition.

This BAM presentation is part of a series of interviews and conversations I am having about facilitation with the agile community and people in leadership. As the author of ‘The Art & Science of Facilitation’, I am essentially on my second Book Tour!

Join me as I revisit this conversation about dialogue. Make sure to read to the end and watch the full video!

Conversations are Elusive

Effective conversations are elusive. We think we are communicating effectively only to find out that we didn’t.

Instead, we end up in the same conversation over and over again aka a groundhog conversation. People nod politely as if in agreement and then go tell their colleague what they really think after the meeting. Or, there are so many ideas on the table that we lose focus and none of them get adequately completed.

No individual, group or organization is immune to these patterns in conversation.

Conversations: Effectiveness and Breakdowns

It’s not if conversations will become ineffective or lead to breakdowns, it’s when, how often and how leaders are able to respond in the moment when it happens that makes the difference.

Leaders Hold the Key to… More Agility

Leadership is a conversation. And leaders who can create the conditions – facilitate – effective conversations will hold the key to higher performance, greater alignment, and more agility.

In their Harvard Business Review article, ‘Embracing Agile’, authors Rigby, Sutherland and Takeuchi wrote

“Agile has revolutionized the software industry…Now it is poised to transform nearly every other function in the industry. At this point, the greatest impediment is not the need for better methodologies, empirical evidence or significant benefits, or proof that agile can work outside IT. It is the behavior of executives.”

Leading Through Conversation

In the video below, I explored with the attendees of Business Agility Meetup what it means to lead through conversation. We discussed the following:

Understanding the importance of reading the room and why it’s everyone’s job
Learning a language for reading the room and how to model it for others
Gaining strategies for how to start facilitating conversations more effectively today

I don’t want to give it all away right here – head on over to the YouTube video to listen to this invigorating conversation!

Watch the Full Video: Leadership is a Conversation

Ready To Learn More About (Virtual) Facilitation

We thought you might be!

This summer, get more knowledge about facilitation by participating in the next Virtual Facilitation Masterclass: “Leading Engaging and Productive Virtual Collaboration”

We’ll show you the common mistakes that keep remote teams from realizing true agility.

Then, you’ll learn practical solutions to plan and design virtual meetings so you can:

Facilitate genuine connection and trust among remote team members
Turn virtual meetings into effective, efficient decision-making tools
Engage your team’s creative power regardless of zip code
Motivate your remote team members to perform to their capabilities with ease
Build a truly collaborative team that gets results

Explore this workshop now!

How to Work with Conflict in Teams: The Agile Team Facilitation Stance

I always say: “A great leader is ready to merge from everyone!”

Today I would like to share my recent talk with Agile Toronto. We had a conversation about how to work with conflict in teams.

NOTE: If you’d rather listen to me talk than read this article first, feel free to skip to the bottom of this article and find the embedded recording, but …you’ll miss some great visuals!

Conflict… and Standing in the Storm

My definition of a “Storm” is when conflict emerges in the room, or when conflict isn’t in the room but it’s going somewhere else and it’s undermining what happens.

Together, let’s look at conversations, and the way we engage in conversation as a lens for looking at conflict, how teams communicate and how that makes a team effective, or ineffective.

I am going to start with the Kantor 4 player model.

Kantor 4 Player Model

“The structure of our conversation determines the outcome of it.” ~ David Kantor, Theory of Structural Dynamics.

Everything that we say, every sentence, every speech-act can be coded into one of four actions.

Coded into one of these four:

MOVE – sets direction in the conversation
FOLLOW – supports the move
OPPOSE – offers correction or constraint
BYSTAND – offers a morally neutral comment on what’s happening in the conversation

Here is an example of how a conversation with all of these 4 actions would go:

In a foodie group conversation:

“Lets go get Sushi in the 5-star restaurant on the corner” That’s a MOVE!
Your FOLLOW would be “Sounds good. Would love to.”
An OPPOSE response is something like this: “Hey I am not so sure, I am not feeling Sushi tonight”
While the BYSTAND action would go something like this: “It sounds like we have an idea on the table” – naming what’s happening.

MOVE and OPPOSE are the vocal actions of advocacy, bringing something forward and taking a stand for something.

FOLLOW and BYSTAND are vocal actions of inquiry and they provide curiosity and more data.

We need all four of these to be active and voiced in a conversation, when one or more are missing some common patterns emerge.

Common patterns often point to a way of looking at breakdown or conflict in our conversations, doing it in a structural way.

Common Stuck Patterns That Happen in Teams

Having the same conversation over and over again should throw up a bunch of yellow flags!

Here are 4 stuck patterns that happen in teams:

SERIAL MOVING – Not really sure what we accomplished: nothing carried to completion
COURTEOUS COMPLIANCE – Over time, this points to covert opposition.
COVERT OPPOSITION – the thing that is said is different that I really intend or for somebody to bystand what I oppose.
POINT-COUNTER-POINT – move on the table and a very clear oppose. Feels like people are locked in conflict.

When MOVE and OPPOSE are the predominant acts, we are missing a FOLLOW and a BYSTAND. Structure becomes a way to look at to bring attention to or call for one of the missing actions.

Going from Locked Opposition, MOVE and OPPOSE, to being able to bridge and find context, something that I can follow or support, something that you’re seeing, being able to name it and bring it into the conversation, keeps us in the conversation and allows us to move forward!

Groundhog Day Conversations!

Groundhog day conversations are those conversations we are having, over and over without resolution.

What patterns might this type of conversation be falling into? How can you change the nature of the conversation by bringing in a different vocal act?

You would need to manage opposition out of the room. The voice of opposition is needed! When it’s not voiced it’s an indicator that it’s coming out in one of the different actions i.e. move, follow or bystand.

Step back and look at the structure of the conversation and yourself:

Can I name what’s happening?
Can I name structurally what’s happening?
Can I let the name of the structural pattern inform how I might make an action as leader, as a facilitator in that conversation?

To listen to this conversation, and the Q & A session, watch this QuickTalk YouTube Video!

Group Dynamics: How to Honor the Wisdom of the Group

When groups convene, they have the power to create something together that would not be possible from the thinking of just one or two people. Groups can see problems in new ways and craft solutions that weren’t apparent before, leveraging the dynamics of leadership and group dynamics.

But, there is a caveat. The creation of new thinking relies on a group’s ability to access their collective intelligence and navigate the intricacies of leadership group dynamics.

Everyone on the Team Has Wisdom to Gain, Wisdom to Share in leadership and group dynamics.

In theory, honoring the wisdom of the group in leadership and group dynamics is really easy. Often, both leaders and group members agree: of course the group has wisdom.

Then real life happens. Decisions need to be made. Directions need to be set.

It’s often easier to honor the wisdom of the group in principle than it is in the moment. In high-pressure moments, leaders, in particular, might be challenged by the concept of honoring the group’s wisdom in leadership in group dynamics. They would rather just make a decision on their own and tell the group what to do.

Putting Honoring the Wisdom of the Group in Leadership and Group Dynamics into Practice

Honoring the wisdom of the group in leadership and group dynamics means placing your full attention on what the group needs rather than focusing on your own needs. It starts with being deliberate about why you are meeting and how you can help invite full participation by creating and sustaining a space that will support it, taking into account the dynamics of group structure.

Here are four lessons on how to plan and design a collaborative meeting to set the group up for success.

1 Help the Sponsor Get Clear on the Level of Collaboration Needed

Factors to determine the degree of collaboration.

One way we honor wisdom in groups is by not wasting their time. Being intentional and deliberate about when collaborative decision-making is an appropriate process to meet the needs of the moment – and when someone just needs to make a decision and move forward.

Not every topic, problem, or decision needs to be collaborative. Higher complexity in decisions means a greater degree of collaboration will be important.

When you interview the sponsor and evaluate the complexity of a decision to be made, think about the scope:

Urgency
Risk
Impact
Durability
Buy-in

2 Decide How to Decide

Not every decision lends itself to consensus and it’s okay. It often depends on the type and complexity of the decision being made.

Help the sponsor and other stakeholders agree to both the decision-making process and the boundaries of the decision prior to the meeting. Here are the types of decisions to choose from:

Leader decides
The leader holds veto power
Consensus Building
Majority Rule

Caution: Teams often decide to “majority rules” likely because reaching consensus can take more time and some teams or leaders become frustrated with the process. If you use “majority rules” as your primary way of making decisions, you might be missing an opportunity to uncover more insight and wisdom, which could improve the shared vision, increase understanding, and change the nature of the conversation and outcomes more positively over time.

3 Design Group Processes That Invite All Voices

The objective is to design a way for all voices to be heard in the room. Factors to consider in your design include:

What is the purpose of the meeting?
What is the desired outcome?
How many people are participating?
Will others be observing?
How will you be meeting?
How long do you have?

The primary question across the design process is: What is the highest and best use of our time together?

4 Invite Opposition – and Separate Yourself From The Process

Opposition is needed in a group in order to have an effective dialogue and, therefore, to access the wisdom of the group. Inviting opposition builds on the practices of ‘Standing in the Storm’.

There are two fundamental principles of inviting opposition:

If opposition is not coming into the conversation organically, ask for someone who sees the topic differently.
When opposition does emerge, don’t shut it down!

As the facilitator, it’s important for you to find ways to invite the opposition in the conversation. But as you develop your skills in relation to opposition, it’s also important to recognize when to separate yourself from the process.

Remember: you are not the process and the process is not you!

Honoring the Wisdom of the Group

Sometimes we can be really good at creating a vision for what we want: teamwork, collaboration, agility. But in execution, we can be really good at getting in our own way.

One of the greatest gifts you can bring to the group is to hold the belief that the team has the wisdom it needs, even when it feels difficult.

Even if the road is bumpy and it feels like you took a wrong exit, holding firm in this stance is one of the most empowering things you can do for a team.

Are you a facilitator in need of more wisdom?

Learn more about The Art & Science of Facilitation by visiting our website!

How To Navigate Team Conflict and Stand Steadfast in the Storm

Within a group, storms emerge from opposition and high-tension situations.

While storms are places of difference, they are also places of energy.

Most groups do not naturally want to stay in conflict situations. In fact, they usually have patterns of avoiding them, often at all costs.

What does this mean for you, the facilitator of the group?

This article will help you navigate team conflict by giving you tips on how to weather the storm.

What is Standing in the Storm?

The facilitation stance of ‘Standing in the Storm’ is about being able to recognize the storm and understanding how to weather it – because there is greater clarity in a group’s thinking on the other side.

Standing in the storm is about staying with conflict and difference instead of avoiding it, recognizing that different points of view provide clarity, discernment, deeper understanding and energy.

When There’s a Storm on the Horizon

When there’s a storm on the horizon, it’s easy to imagine that the meeting will completely unravel, that you’ll be blamed, and that you’ll look like an ineffective facilitator.

Anxious thoughts may creep in:

How do I handle this much opposition?
What if we don’t achieve what we need to do today?
How will I be viewed?

Storms are those places when working with a group feels uncomfortable. For you or for them. For one person or the whole group. But standing in it together is a profound way to transform discomfort into something more productive and thoughtful.

Putting ‘Standing in the Storm’ into Practice: 3 Tips

As the facilitator what do you need to believe about yourself and your group as you facilitate?

Here are the guiding principles I reference in my book.

Honoring the Wisdom of the Group
Maintaining Neutrality
Upholding the Agile Mindset and Practices
Standing in the Storm
Holding the Group’s Agenda

Today, I’d like to share three tips to help you stand in the storm.

1 Cultivate self-awareness and management to stay in the situation.

When put into a situation where you as the facilitator are standing in a storm, self-awareness is an important tool to stay in that storm, especially if you are asked to move on from a ‘high-heat topic’.

The first step to take is to ask for context.

Next, you need to clarify what happens moving forward.

The important thing to recognize when learning to stand in the storm is that staying with situations and group dynamics can feel difficult. So start practicing in small ways to help you prepare for the big moment.

2 Learn to Press “Pause”

Sometimes what’s needed in the midst of a storm is your own personal ‘pause’ button.

Because when you feel like slowing down and taking a breath is the very last thing you can do, it’s exactly what you need to do!

Learn to recognize these moments and to be prepared to take your pause, even when it feels like the hardest thing.

Plant your feet firmly on the ground and stand with the principles of this facilitation stance
Take a deep breath
Remember that whatever is happening is not really about you. It’s about them
Slow down the pace for yourself.

As the group responds to your pause, gather data about what’s happening for them. This will help you decide what to do next.

Remember you don’t have to figure out the next four things. You just need to figure out the one thing that will move the group forward in this moment.

3 Deepen your understanding of Group Dynamics

Models and frameworks for understanding group dynamics help us make sense of what we’re experiencing in the room.

Structural dynamics is a theory of face-to-face communications developed by David Kantor.

It provides a way to naming, at four different levels, the structure of communication as it’s taking place in the moment.

These are called

Move
Follow
Oppose
Bystand

In order for conversations to be skillful and effective, groups need all four of these actions to be voiced in conversation. Learn more about structural dynamics here.

The Art & Science of Facilitation

Without difference, there is no insight, clarity, energy, passion, or conviction. Storms give us these things – which means we have to stay with the storm no matter how uncomfortable it feels.

Read the Art & Science of Facilitation to dive deeper into this topic of ‘Standing in the Storm’ and watch this space for more on the facilitation stances mentioned in my book.

Celebrating a Journey to Masterful Agile Team Coaching: Cohort Edition

After a successful 2020 inaugural cohort “Coaching Agility from Within” we are several months into the next cohort program and preparing for yet another group of new cohort members to onboard by mid-May 2021.

Time flies when you are having fun!

In this article we want to give you an overview of our Cohort program as well extend a personal invitation to you: help us celebrate the completion of this journey with the first cohort graduates and possibly apply to join us this year as a cohort member.

Are you curious what joining our cohort could mean to your career and your leadership journey? We invite you to learn more!

What Is the ‘Coaching Agility from Within’ Cohort?

The goal of the cohort is to build demonstrable competency in agile team coaching where agile coaches are equipped with a deeper understanding and awareness of themselves so that they are able to lead and coach change in effectively coach agile teams and adapt to what is needed in the moment.

This cohort is designed to help you go from asking:

How do I skillfully deal with resistance in my team?
How do I navigate team conflict that arises in the moment?
How do I help my team reach high performance?
How can I tell if what I am doing even qualifies as team coaching?
How do I coach leaders in my organization who just ‘don’t get it’?
How can I stop feeling like I don’t know what I’m doing and worrying that someone will find me out?

To leading this:

I see conflict as a source of energy for my team and I feel confident in my ability to work with it. I’m also not afraid to bring conflict forward if it’s impeding progress.
I am clear about how I support teams in their journey to high performance and how I evaluate where a team is at when I engage with them.
I am a skilled coach and it shows.
I am confident in my ability to coach a team. I’m adapting both my leadership style and the way I engage, to support them in doing their best.
I confidently and skillfully navigate tricky conversations with my colleagues and those in authority positions, in service of my team’s development.
I am highly sought after because I’m masterful at leading change in Agile teams.

What Will You Gain From Being Part of This Cohort?

Clarity in your own Team Coaching practice.

If you are an external coach, you will refine how you think about your own practice of Agile team coaching and how you contract with teams. If you are internal, you will refine how you talk about the outcomes of working with a coach and the outcomes teams can expect. In either case, you will become more clear about boundaries and what creates the best environment for teams to thrive.

Personal Growth.

How we think is how we lead others. Continue the journey of personal growth that started for you in the foundational facilitation and coaching courses. When Agile coaches are able to come from a place of greater self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-mastery and self-authority then they show up for teams in a more powerful way with greater results.

Proficiency in Coaching, Mentoring and Facilitation.

This part of the journey is steeped in real-world practice. You will be working with real teams and getting feedback along the way. This will deepen and refine your skills.

Greater demand for your services.

People don’t contract for your services because of a piece of paper, they work with you because of the deeper work you have done to refine and master the craft of coaching teams and the positive impact you have when you work with others.

Our Vision For You

…is to become a leader who:

Inspires and motivates high-performing Agile teams
Grows other leaders
Helps teams have difficult conversations with grace and ease
Feels competent and experienced

The Right Fit for the Right Cohort Program

How will you know if you are the right fit for this cohort and if this cohort is the right fit for your leadership journey?

This in-depth 8 month program is rigorous, placing an emphasis on practice and feedback opportunities through skill drills, peer coaching, team coaching, ongoing group work, professional one-on-one coaching and one-on-one supervision of actual Agile coaching sessions. You will have ample opportunity to learn from your peers and bring real-world scenarios to the group for feedback and guidance.

If this sounds like you can fit this into your life, we would love for you to apply to this cohort program.

The Competency Certification Cohort!

Just one more note. You cannot go through the motions in this program. We expect that you will commit to the program and invest the time in your own learning, show up and engage, and express a sincere desire to improve. In return, you can expect that we will show up and engage and support and challenge you in your journey. We promise, the commitment will be worth it in the end!

Celebrating Those Who Completed This In-depth 8 Month Program

Join us in celebrating the ‘Bluebirds’! This fantastic group of agile coaches graduated their cohort at the end of 2020.

The events of 2020 created a unique experience for all of us and as a cohort group we put the principles of agility into practice as we all adapted to the changing landscape of 2020.

We were just days away from being together on the beach in North Carolina for the residential program when a world-wide pandemic was announced and after thoughtful dialogue we made the decision to postpone the residential and eventually held it remotely. While it was not our first choice the remote residential was a moving and meaningful experience – created out of clear intention by everyone to show up fully, connect with one another and deepen the practice of team coaching.

This group co-created an experience full of grace, generosity, and accountability for themselves and each other.

The best part about seeing this group of leaders thrive is knowing that while the official cohort has ended, their connectivity and their learning has not! These leaders continue to meet on a monthly basis to support each other!

They are also eager to support our current cohort members and look forward to potentially meeting and supporting YOU in our next cohort, which starts in May 2021!

Quotes and Notes from the Bluebird Cohort!

We asked our Bluebirds for quotes and notes about their experience. Here are the reflections from Dave Ross, Jennifer Bullock and Vicky Hora.

Dave: “As I reflect on our cohort last year, several things come to mind. It was a rigorous, almost year-long, process and fraught with all kinds of unexpected challenges (such as Covid, cancellation of the residential), but what kept us on track was incredible flexibility and leadership shown by Marsha and Kay, and peers who were driven to overcome and succeed no matter the obstacle. We kept going because we were being exposed to new concepts and techniques that challenged our existing thinking, and called us re-think some of our fundamental beliefs about Agility, Coaching, Mentoring, Teaching and Facilitation. There is something refreshing about seeing these topics, that I use in my everyday working life, from an entirely new perspective that brings revelations and insights I would not otherwise have. So I am indebted to Marsha and Kay for running the cohort, in this most difficult of years, and to my cohort-mates for enhancing what we learned in practice coaching circles, all of which lifted me up and helped me succeed.”

Jennifer: “I am fortunate to have been part of the inaugural cohort and of the awesome Bluebirds team. Despite the twists and turns of 2020, we worked together as a team to redefine what the cohort would look like and leaned all in to the experience. I learned so much more than I anticipated and have grown in the focal areas of coaching, mentoring, facilitating, and training, making this a memorable and valuable experience.”

Vicky: “The cohort journey with Marsha, Kay and my awesome Bluebirds/friends was gratifying and humbling, and the learnings gained have been invaluable. The journey has created more realms of possibilities for my life’s purpose that is all about – Making teams and people love their work through inspirational coaching, mentoring, facilitation and training!”

Are You Next? Apply to Join Our Next Cohort Program in May 2021

If you are ready, we’d love for you to put in your application to this cohort! We are excited you are ready to continue your learning journey and we are thrilled you want to accomplish it with the Cohort.