Communication

Why Opposites Attract and How We As leaders Can Celebrate Differences

The Power of Embracing Difference

As leaders, many of us are most comfortable building teams of people who share similar backgrounds, beliefs, and values – and who speak with words that resonate with us.

But what if we’re missing out on the power of difference? Research has shown that teams who are able to build communicative competence – able to fluidly bring a range of communication – when needed, in order for the conversation to be effective – are more likely to be able to access the collective intelligence that exists within the team.

Structural Dynamics and The David Kantor 4 Player Model

We should look at David Kantor’s Structural Dynamics Model to better understand group communication and the importance of recognizing and leveraging differences in our teams.

We each have a behavioral model. When you encounter someone who has a different behavioral model than you this is the fertile ground for misunderstanding, miscommunication and breakdown, after all while we may intellectually value difference, when we encounter it in the moment it can be difficult to navigate. Feeling like you are not heard or misunderstood.

A truly gifted colleague, who I met in a workshop a few months ago, wrote this poem today, during a dialogue and exploration of communication differences. I think it beautifully sums up differences and I wanted to share it with you…

______________________________

‘Opposites Attract’

a Poem by Tania Watson

You say open, I say closed

It’s all in the detail I suppose

Though when I move and you oppose

I wonder what conundrum that might pose…

I stand and watch and still I care

My bystand brings questions – so, might I dare?

I challenge, you follow

At no point do we, either, we allow

You seek process, and I to understand

But, then, on-the-other-hand…

What would happen if we didn’t plan?

And peeled the onion’s many layers

But by bit, and piece by piece

Would we seem like a grand betrayer?

Or, too far away, detached, at least?

Nooooooooo I hear from inside my soul

This dissonance absolutely isn’t real

I’m calm, I’m hot – I’m low, I’m high

And even if we’re not aligned

CAN

FLY

And, so-can-you

So, let’s not stew. Who knows? Who knew?

My story, my dynamic – it’s old, it’s new

And in it lies pure mystery – the difference that is you…And me

______________________________

It’s a Model Difference!

So if you find yourself feeling frustrated, confused or misunderstood – chances are you have encountered a model difference. Neither is right or wrong, it’s just different.

If you want to connect with Tania Watson, you can find her on LinkedIn or vist her website

If you are new to the concept of model building, I invite you to explore here and learn more about the book ‘Build your model for leading change‘.

How Reading the Room Can Make You a Better Leader and Communicator

Reading the room is a concept many have heard about, but few of us know exactly what it means. How exactly does one read the room, how can someone apply reading the room, and what results are gained from this practice?

Use this article as a guide to learn more about better communication, positive signals when communicating, recognizing underlying conversations and the skills needed for better verbal expression of mood and goals.

What does it mean to read the room?

To ‘read the room’ is a term used to describe the ability to perceive and understand the emotions, attitudes, and behaviors of people in a given social setting.

It involves paying attention to nonverbal cues such as body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions, as well as the context and environment in which the audience’s attention and interactions are taking place.

Reading the room is an important communication skill

The ability to read the room is an important skill in various settings, including social gatherings, business meetings, and public speaking engagements, as it enables individuals to observe the mood, then adjust their behavior and communication style accordingly to better connect and communicate with others.

By using social awareness and reading the room, individuals can gain a better understanding of the mood and tone of the interaction skill, which can help them navigate social situations more effectively and build stronger relationships.

Observing the room + listening = reading the room

As a leader, it is essential to have a thorough understanding of the people and environment in the room.

Simply listening to one person is not enough to gain a complete picture of the situation. Instead, it is crucial to observe everyone in the room and consider their individual interactions with each other and their mood.

Take note of who is sitting next to whom and observe their mood. Do they appear happy, angry, distracted, anxious, afraid or uncomfortable? Observe how people are standing or sitting, as well as their facial expressions, including any subtle cues such as smirks or raised eyebrows.

By carefully observing each person in the room, you can gain insights into the social dynamics at play and make more informed decisions based on this understanding.

Remember, reading the room is not just about hearing what people are saying but also interpreting other cues and taking into account the broader context of the situation.

Interpret group dynamics and read the room

When it comes to team meetings and groups, reading the room can be a powerful tool for leaders to interpret groups and their dynamics.

Understanding the dynamics of a group can help leaders to identify potential conflicts, anticipate challenges, and find opportunities to build stronger relationships within the group.

Leadership and reading the room

Here are a few key things that leaders should keep in mind when reading the (virtual) room in a large group setting:

Look for nonverbal cues: People often communicate or speak their emotions and attitudes through cues, such as body language and facial expressions. As a leader, it is important to pay attention to these cues and look for patterns in how different individuals in the group are responding.
Observe the interactions: In addition, leaders should also observe how individuals in the group are interacting with each other. Who is talking to whom? Who seems to be listening? Are there any individuals who are being left out of the conversation?
Consider the context: The context of the group interaction can also be an important factor to consider. If the group is meeting to discuss a difficult topic, individuals may be more guarded in their responses. Alternatively, if the group is meeting in a more social setting, people may be more relaxed and open.
Adapt your communication style: Once you have a better understanding of the group and its dynamics, you can adjust your communication style accordingly. For example, if you notice that certain individuals in the group are more reserved, you may need to make a conscious effort to draw them out and encourage them to share their thoughts and ideas.

By paying attention to these factors and actively engage in reading the room, leaders can gain a deeper understanding of the group’s dynamics at play and make more informed decisions based on this understanding.

Who was David Kantor?

David Kantor was a Harvard-trained systems psychologist and organizational consultant.

He was a renowned systems psychologist, organizational consultant, and thought leader in the field of communication and group dynamics.

Kantor was the creator of the Structural Dynamics Model, also known as the David Kantor 4 Player Model of Communication, which provides a framework for understanding the different communication roles that individuals can play in a group setting.

Kantor received his B.A. from Harvard University and his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Chicago. He taught at a number of institutions, including Harvard University, Boston University, and the University of Chicago. In addition to his work in academia, Kantor worked as a consultant for a wide range of organizations, including General Electric, The Ford Foundation, and the World Bank.

Kantor was the founder and CEO of the Kantor Institute, a consulting firm that specializes in helping organizations to develop more effective communication and collaboration strategies. He wrote several influential books and articles on the topics of communication, including his seminal work, “Reading the Room: Group Dynamics for Coaches and Leaders.”

Throughout his career, Kantor was recognized for his contributions to the field of communication and group dynamics. He was a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, a founding faculty member of the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, and a recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Organization Development Network.

The David Kantor 4 Player model

The David Kantor 4 Player Model of Communication, also known as the Structural Dynamics Model, mentioned in the previous paragraph, is a framework for understanding the different roles that small group of individuals can play in a group communication setting.

At TeamCatapult, we use this model in our leadership training and in the Structural Dynamics workshops.

This model developed by David Kantor is based on the idea that effective communication requires individuals to be able to switch between different communication roles.

The four roles in the model are:

Mover: The Mover is focused on driving action and getting things done. They tend to be direct, assertive and focused on results.
Follower: The Follower is focused on building relationships and maintaining social harmony. They tend to be supportive, empathetic and focused on the needs of the group.
Opposer: The Opposer is focused on questioning assumptions and challenging ideas. They tend to be critical, skeptical, and focused on identifying potential problems or risks.
Bystander: The Bystander is focused on observing the group’s dynamics and staying neutral. They tend to be reflective, impartial and focused on understanding the bigger picture.

Effective communication requires individuals to be able to switch between these different roles as needed to achieve the group’s goals.

For example, a leader may need to play the Mover role to drive action and make decisions, but also the Follower role to build relationships and maintain trust with the group. The Opposer role can also be important for identifying potential problems or risks that may need to wait to be addressed.

Overall, the David Kantor 4 Player Model provides a useful framework for understanding the different communication roles that individuals can play in a group setting, and can help individuals to develop more effective communication skills by learning to switch between these roles as needed.

Learning How to Read the Room

According to David Kantor’s Structural Dynamics Model, learning how to read the room involves understanding the different communication roles that individuals can play in a group setting, and being able to identify which roles are currently in play. This involves observing not only what people are saying, but also their body language, tone of voice, and other nonverbal cues.

For example, is there a dominant Mover driving the conversation, or is there an Opposer questioning assumptions and challenging ideas? Are there Followers building relationships and maintaining social harmony, or Bystanders observing and staying neutral?

Shift your own communication style

Once you have identified the roles that are in play, Kantor suggests that you can start to shift your communication style to better fit the needs of each person in the group. This may involve playing the role of a Mover to drive action and make decisions, or playing the role of a Follower to build relationships and maintain trust with the group.

Overall, learning how to read the room according to David Kantor’s Structural Dynamics Model involves developing a deep understanding of the different communication roles that individuals can play in a group setting, and being able to identify and adapt to the roles that are currently in play in order to achieve the group’s goals.

How to practice reading the room

Practicing reading the room involves paying close attention to the energy in the room.

Negative energy, nervousness, anger, anxiety, and fear can all be communicated through body language and tone of voice, and it’s important to be able to identify these cues in order to respond appropriately.

When entering a room, take a deep breath and try to stay present in the moment. As you interact with others, listen carefully to their words and pay close attention to their body language. Are they smiling or frowning? Speaking confidently or hesitantly? Nervous or relaxed? Angry or calm?

By observing these cues, you can get a better sense of the and emotional dynamics in the room and adjust your own communication style accordingly. Remember to stay in control of your own emotions and reactions even when the stakes are high, and try to create a positive and open environment for others to speak and share their thoughts.

3 Ways You Can Help Increase Collective Team Performance

As a leader or an Agile leader, you are part of a fast-paced and dynamic work environment. As the leader, is team performance a critical measurement of your overall success? We think so!

In addition to your success as a leader, stakeholders want to see a continued increase in team performance, because… let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to? If you are the leader of an agile team, may I assume that collaboration, flexibility, and continuous feedback are already fostered on a daily basis? How then can you influence and contribute to an increase in collective team performance?

In this article, we will explore three key strategies that you can implement that will increase collective team performance, including clear communication, team collaboration, and continuous improvement.

These approaches help leaders like you build high-performing teams that are capable of delivering exceptional results in a rapidly changing world. We know this to be true because we train people like you in our workshops and cohorts to be better team facilitators, better communicators, and better leaders.

Improve Collective Team Performance with Clear Communication

Clear communication is essential for improving collective team performance in any team environment. Agile principles emphasize the importance of collaboration and open communication between team members, as well as between the team and stakeholders. As a leader, you can promote clear communication by establishing a company culture of transparency, encouraging active listening, and promoting open and honest feedback.

By using tools such as:

daily stand-up meetings
team retrospectives
regular check-ins

leaders can help ensure that everyone is on the same page and working towards a common goal.

By not only promoting but modeling clear communication yourself, you build trust and alignment within your team. To start, have ‘thinking together’ conversations.

Improve Collective Team Performance with Collaboration

Collaboration and team building activities are two ways to improve team performance and go hand in hand. As the leader of any team, it’s of the utmost importance to organize team-building activities, consistently encourage collaboration within the team, and create a space for planned idea-sharing times. In other words, create a positive, safe, supportive work environment, aka an inclusive work culture.

In addition, fostering regular and clear communication between teams and stakeholders can help to build trust and alignment all around, leading to more effective and efficient decision-making.

By prioritizing collaboration along with clear communication, leaders can help to drive innovation and creativity, and increase overall team performance.

Improve Collective Team Performance with Continuous Improvement

After clear communication and collaboration, continuous improvement is the third key aspect of leadership and a key factor in improving collective team performance. By embracing a growth mindset and continuously seeking ways to optimize processes and workflows, teams can stay ahead of the curve and continuously improve their performance.

As the team leader, you promote continuous improvement by encouraging the following within your team.

Experimentation
Providing opportunities for skill development
Fostering a culture of learning

Leaders who help their teams stay adaptable, innovative, and always striving for excellence have some of the best-performing teams and a high rate of employee retention and satisfaction, too!

Are You Unintentionally Hindering Team Performance?

You *might* be the culprit and hindering your own team’s performance. Do you want to find out if your team is underperforming partly because of your leadership?

Read this article about team collaboration at its best and worst. TeamCatapult helps leaders like you (and teams like yours) increase their performance. Curious about what that looks like?

Start here.

How Interrupting a Pattern of Behavior Helps Conversation Flow!

Conversations are an essential part of our daily lives, and they play a crucial role in building and maintaining relationships. However, sometimes conversations can become stagnant, and the flow can be interrupted by patterns of behavior that prevent open and honest communication.

Whether it’s the tendency to interrupt, dominate the conversation, or avoid certain topics, these patterns of behavior can create barriers to effective communication.

The Case Study: Setting the Stage

In this story, the leader of an organization recognizes that the current approach to a reorganization is not working and is causing resistance and opposition among his team. He decides to try something different and interrupts the pattern by taking a break and listening to the team’s concerns.

This shift in approach leads to a more productive conversation and a greater willingness among the team to engage in co-creating solutions to their challenges. The leader’s actions demonstrate the power of suspending one’s own point of view and actively listening to others in order to create the conditions for change to occur.

The Story Starts Here: Leading a Reorganization

There once was a leader who was leading a re-org in his organization. He had been working with me for a while as part of the organization’s transformation process because he recognized that there were a lot of entrenched behaviors — including his own — that needed to shift if the re-org was going to be successful.

Then, one day, he was in a meeting that was going in the exact same direction as meetings had been going for weeks: it was heated and he was on the defense team. He was caught in a familiar pattern of explaining, justifying, and trying to convince others of his perspective and help them to see his viewpoint of why the reorganization was needed.

Recognizing a Pattern of Behavior

But on this day, in the heat of the moment, he had a moment of noticing. First, he noticed that he was in a familiar pattern. Then he noticed that the pattern was him digging in his heels, defending his point of view, and getting into a heated debate with his team.

This was his aha! moment.

He then decided to move through the steps of the “pattern interrupt” he’d been practicing with me in coaching sessions.

First, he called for a brief break and he got up and took a walk around the building. Then, when they reconvened, he sat down and acknowledged that he was defending what he believed to be right. And then he voiced his decision to shift into the mode of curiosity.

He shared with the team that he was going to listen. He was actually going to pause his active participation in the meeting so that he could really listen to what they were saying.

He moved to the back of the room, and he asked them to resume the conversation they were having previously about their concerns. The team began to talk with one another again, sharing the risk they saw, the personal impact this org change would have, and the individual fears that everyone shared. They also talked about the deep pain and frustration they had been experiencing because they felt like none of their concerns had been heard even after multiple weeks of trying to share them.

The Power of Pausing and Listening to Interrupt a Pattern of Behavior

After 45 minutes of listening, the leader re-joined the conversation and shared what he had heard. For him, it had been deeply moving and it radically shifted his understanding of what was happening to them. They weren’t just resisting his viewpoint, they were feeling totally unheard in their viewpoint. So, he apologized for the impact he had been having on the team, acknowledged the hurt and pain, and shared how he totally saw what they were seeing now.

When he finished sharing his experience of listening to them – one by one each leader leaned into the conversation and said ‘I’m in, let’s do this…’

A Defining Moment of Leadership

The executive would later share with me that it was the most profound moment of his leadership and that he didn’t really understand what he had done.

Here’s what I told him happened. You suspended your point of view long enough to hear their perspective and experience. By doing this, you brought the real conversation in the room – it actually wasn’t an opposition to the re-org as much as it was opposition to not having their concerns addressed.

By the leader’s action, people felt seen and heard, and were ready to engage in co-creating solutions to some of their challenges instead of resisting and blocking the change.

Creating Space for Change to Occur

This is the power of the conversation. It had created the space for change to occur, it helped people feel seen and heard so that they could buy-in to the change.

There had been a pattern established by the leader resisting their perspectives. He was advocating rather than inquiring — defending rather than suspending. As a result, the concerns of the group continued to persist in the form of roadblocks and opposition. And what you resist ALWAYS persists.

Once this leader had shifted the course of the conversation by starting to inquire more, when he recognized that it was time to stop resisting, …something new happened.

By creating the conditions for change to really happen, he was able to lead the change within his organization in a radically different and more effective way.

When You Are Stuck, Try Interrupting Your Pattern of Behavior!

Interrupting patterns of behavior is a powerful tool for improving the flow of conversation and enhancing the overall quality of our interactions with others.

Next time you find yourself stuck in a conversation or relationship that is not flowing well, try interrupting your pattern of behavior.

This can be as simple as taking a pause by stepping away, changing the subject, or listening more actively. By interrupting these patterns, we can create new opportunities for growth and connection with others.

Remember, effective communication is not about being perfect, it’s about being open and willing to make changes when necessary.

The Grateful Leader: 5 Ways to Lead a Team During an Economic Downturn

While we are in the middle of a holiday season, we are hearing story after story after story of disillusionment. People, our friends, being laid off from their dream jobs.

As leaders, we want to hold the responsibility that leads our teams to success and conversely to care for them during the “down times.” It’s easier through those times of happiness, but the challenge lies in those times of conflict or now during an economic downturn.

How do you show leadership when you yourself might be worried, scared and yes, possibly depressed as changes in the economy threaten your livelihood and your own job security?

5 Ways to Lead your Team During an Economic Downturn as a Grateful Leader!

Read. Learn. Implement!

1 Be Candid and Transparent with your Team

Be transparent and give people the ‘why’ when changes are coming to your company and your team. Tough news is somewhat easier to digest when you explain the ‘why’ behind budget cuts, team reorganization and possible layoffs. By speaking the hard truths, you can avoid pretending everything is fine one day, knowing massive changes are approaching. Being candid helps to reduce discontent and helps your leadership credibility.

2 Encourage Conversations

During an economic downturn people are scared of the unknown and uncertainty. It’s normal for your team to be scared. They are worried about job security, which translates into worries about their future, perhaps being able to provide for a family. One way to find out what your team is thinking and worrying about it to encourage conversations.

Expect these conversations to be about their personal life and worries, but also about the team. Team dynamics might shift as company wide reorganizations might be in the works. Talk about what this might mean for your team, and share how you’ll be present through all of it.

Ways to encourage more candid conversations:

Don’t skip meeting check-ins
Make it okay to hold ad hoc meetings specific to a situation
Dare to dialogue

3 Listen to your Team

As much as you can encourage conversation among your team members, be sure to listen as well. Listen with intent for what their immediate concerns are and if you can, provide space for candid results. Offer reassurances if they are available. Be willing to say “I don’t know…” and then find the answer.. Listen for potential roadblocks down the road, for grievances, and for conflict.

Ways to listen to your team:

Stay neutral in time of conflict
Stand in the storm when things are tough
Bystand in those high-stakes situations

4 Prioritize Resources: Products and People

As a leader, the distribution of resources is your responsibility. Prioritizing your products, services and people to get the most out of everything and everyone can be an exhausting task when resources have become scarce. Be prepared to shift when needed. If you have to move things around, go back to number 1, transparency. Tell your team what is happening and why.

Ways to prioritize resources:

Agile mindset
Avoid over-allocating
Find the BLUF and speak to it

5 Uphold your Company Strategy

Your company’s strategy should not change at the tip of a hat. A strategy is the long game. What can and should change, in times of economic downturn, are tactics. Tightening the belt might mean less marketing, less outreach, smaller projects, putting projects on hold. However, cutting all marketing, all outreach and all projects will not uphold your strategy if these are your main points of sales and revenue.

As a grateful leader, it is up to you to dive deep and come up with ways to uphold the strategy laid out previously, and take care of the budget, productivity and people all at the same time.

The Grateful Leader Leads by Example

Leaders lead by example, in good times and bad times.

Those who depend on you for leadership will be worried and scared in times of economic downturn. Your team needs your empathy, your listening ears, your attention and your devotion to them to be clear and present.

Let me end this with this beautiful quote: “When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.” ~ Kristin Armstrong

~ Marsha